No, I haven’t completely lost it.

MA Firefighter Revives Cat with CPR:

A lucky cat in New Bedford owes one of its nine lives to a firefighter who revived it with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Al Machado rescued the cat from a burning apartment on Monday. But he told The Standard Times of New Bedford he saw immediately that the cat needed air.

So Machado began performing mouth to mouth on the animal as he carried it outside.

That’s one hell of a firefighter if you ask me. Wicked good. Respect for life both human and animal and my hat’s off to him even though I’m joking about it.

The cat, a tiger angora, was revived and resting comfortably soon after.

… smoking a cigarette.

Asked what it tasted like to give mouth-to-mouth to a cat, Machado grimaced and said: “Like fur.”

Or a combination of Fancy Feast and cat ass. And that’s as far as I’m running with it. I’m not delving into … er … bad taste? Oh jeez.

Here’s a video of the mouth-to-pussy event. NSFW! Heh. Just kidding.

In Philly. This is nasty:

Without uttering a word, police said, the unidentified man whipped out a double-claw hammer and began bludgeoning a 20-year-old man who was dozing off in his seat.

For five long minutes, SEPTA surveillance cameras captured the deranged attacker - who was still on the loose late last night- digging his hammer into the man’s head and neck.

The 20-something was relaxing on the ride, listening to his iPod after a work day. And then, whammo. Five minutes of whammo. Public transportation is not safe. I rode NYC subways nearly every day for two straight weeks and saw some crazy shit on those trains. Mostly, people invading your personal space and many times exhibiting signs of aggression. Sure, it starts with, “Hey buddy, got a cigarette?” or “got some change?” and if you don’t comply, offense is taken. I’ve been sneered at, bumped, shoved, glared at. I’ve been in close proximity to angry shoving matches between people in the evening where no more than 5 people are in a subway car. I’ve been asked more than once, “What the fuck are you looking at?”

There’s a lot to be said for situational awareness. The last place - these days - I would stick headphones on and drown out my surroundings is in a quickly moving locked metal box surrounded by strangers. I’m sure many of you are the same way - I don’t like to sit anywhere in public where I can’t see everything, more specifically what is right behind me. I’m not paranoid, I just don’t trust every crazy bastard out there.

Through it all, disgusted investigators said, at least 10 passengers stood by and did nothing as the random attack moved from the train to the platform, when the hammer-wielding maniac tried to push his victim down onto the train tracks.

When the beating was finished and the suspect fled with the little boy, the victim staggered back onto the train, bloodied, confused and alone, said Detective Kenneth Roach, of Central Detectives.

And even then, no one tried to help him.

Hardly surprising, but sad. We’re a nation of people terrified of lawsuits, danger, and personal harm. A me-first society that just wants to be left alone until we get into the safety and security of our own homes. Actually, worse than that, a disarmed, me-first society. One simple law-abiding gun-owner conceal carrying on that train and minding his own business could’ve put an end to this in well under 20 seconds. One individual with a basic amount of martial arts training could’ve done the same. However, without the will to act, nothing matters.

“Somebody should have helped this guy,” Roach said. “I understand the [other] guy had a hammer, but they outnumbered him at least 10 to one.”

We’re taught to comply, to never fight back and to avoid confrontation. I find it disingenuous and beyond bothersome for the Police to constantly beat the drum of, “just give them what they want,” or “don’t fight,” or, “just cooperate” and then come out and wag their fingers because nobody threw themselves in front of a claw-hammer-wielding psychopath.

Miraculously, the victim took the subway up to Temple University Hospital, received several staples and sutures and was discharged, Roach said.

That is some very good news.

The attacker - a bearded, stocky, 5-foot-9-inch black man who wore a yellow shirt and black pants - also got on at City Hall, with a youngster who may or may not be his child.

The victim and the hammer-toting psychopath never exchanged a word or a glance, Roach said.

“According to the victim, there was no contact or verbal discussion,” he said. “They didn’t even notice each other.”

The hammer was hidden in a black-and-yellow book bag that the attacker clutched throughout the short subway ride.

Two things stand out here. First, that the article describes this as a “5-foot-9-inch black man”. I didn’t expect to see that description. Second, the “hammer was hidden in a black-and-yellow book bag”. No word yet on whether carrying a concealed claw hammer is illegal. I’m sure Nutter will address it.

… because instinct tells me it’s a stupid thing to do.

HAMPTON, N.H. — Thousands of people watching skydivers land on a New Hampshire beach got a scare when one of the divers was blown about a half a mile out to sea.

Once in awhile I like to browse online news from various papers well outside where I am generally geographically comfortable. One such paper I like to peek at from time to time is the Missoulan. As in … Montana.

So up pops this very sad story - a 2-year-old boy found dead in the trunk of some woman’s car. What struck me here was the family’s name:

GREAT FALLS - Authorities found the body of a 2-year-old boy in the trunk of a car Friday, and the toddler’s 31-year-old mother has been arrested on suspicion of deliberate homicide.

Summer Many White Horses, who also faces charges of tampering with evidence and obstructing a peace officer, is being held at the Cascade County Detention Center for the death of her son, James Many White Horses.

That’s something you just don’t see in major cities. And for the record, I hope they bump Mom to the front of the line. A dead two-year-old in a trunk? Swift removal from this earth.

HELL YEAH:

When two gunmen smashed through the glass front door of her Texas home, Kellie Hoehn didn’t think twice.

The 34-year-old mother of two grabbed a shotgun that had been pointed at her face, starting a struggle that ended with one intruder killed with his own weapon and another in the hospital.

“I wasn’t going to let them get to my babies,” she said, recalling the moment on Wednesday when she pushed up the muzzle of the shotgun, pointing it away from her children’s rooms at her home in Fort Worth.

Said it before and I’ll say it again - “just cooperate” doesn’t make you safer, it increases the chance of you being dead. When confronted, fight like your life depends on it - because it does. And woe unto any criminal scumbag who decides to attack a parent with young kids. The Mom in this above story is nothing short of a hero.

With Kellie Hoehn clinging to the weapon’s muzzle, her husband tackled the man who held the shotgun. She knocked the intruder in the head with a jar candle, giving her husband a chance to wrest the shotgun from the intruder.

+2 for using a random decorative household item to temporarily incapacitate a scumbag!

Personally, no amount of screaming, crying, shaking, shivering or pleads for mercy would prevent me from wedging my big sausage fingers deep into an intruder’s eye socket and scraping out their parietal lobe like a big ol’ scoop of chocolate-chip-cookie-brain ice cream if they ever made the most unfortunate decision to attempt to take what is rightfully mine or threaten my family in any way.

Self defense is not “stopping an attack” - simply stopping an attack is no guarantee that you’re not going to be attacked quickly again. Observe:

Her husband fired the shotgun and the man fell to the ground. Then the shot man lunged a second time.

That’s stopping an attack. Self defense is ending the threat:

“Well, I shot him again, and I guess that was it,” Keith Hoehn said.

THAT is ending the threat.

“I am not happy that someone is dead,” Kellie Hoehn said. “But I am glad that my family is alive.”

And that’s all that matters …

Okay, so the liberal media sharks have been out in full force, trying hard to make tempests in various teapots. Tonight should be really interesting.

I think people have been grandly underestimating Sarah Palin’s toughness. No, I’m not talking the whole gut-a-moose thing. I’m talking about something she’s done that neither Obama, Biden, or McCain could possibly accomplish.

She gave birth to five kids.

It takes a special kind of hard-ass to pull something like that off. I was with my wife when she delivered our boys. That’s some scary shit right there. I know I couldn’t do it. You don’t go insulting someone’s offspring after they’ve gone through labor with said offspring. My son could be having the worst day ever. He could be a brat from 6AM to 6PM, getting in trouble, drawing with markers on the sofa, breaking expensive things, but I’ll guarantee you this … if someone so much as sneers at the boy while Mom is around, she’ll kill the bastard with her bare hands. Moms are like that.

Now have a look at this picture:

The last thing I would do is piss off someone like that by attacking their family. I have a feeling tonight that she’ll be field-dressing some lefty scumbags and leaving a few carcasses hanging around the convention center. I, for one, am hoping to witness a bloodbath, and I have a feeling that this perky “hockey mom” is going to come out swinging.

Great to see that racism, bigotry, ignorance, gross stupidity and threats are alive and well these days.

If McCain wins, look for a full-fledged race and class war, fueled by a deflated and depressed country, soaring crime, homelessness - and hopelessness!

That is exactly what an uneducated, incompetent, racist fool sounds like.