Couldn’t resist the comparison:

ABC News’ Teddy Davis Reports: Former DNC Chairman Don Fowler apologized on Sunday for joking in a private conversation that the timing of Hurricane Gustav demonstrates that God is on the side of the Democrats.

“If this offended anybody, I personally apologize,” Fowler told ABC News. “It was a mistake, and it was a satirical statement made in jest. And one that I clearly don’t believe.”

No doubt here that he was joking about it. And that it blew up at all is kinda stupid if you ask me.

But this is some funny shit right here:

Fowler was secretly recorded by the person sitting behind him while flying from Denver, Colo., to Charlotte, N.C., following the Democratic National Convention. His conversation with Rep. John Spratt, D-S.C., was anonymously posted to YouTube and highlighted by RedState.com, a conservative blog.

“One doesn’t anticipate that one’s private conversation will be surreptitiously taped by some right-wing nutcase,” said Fowler. “But that’s the nature of what we’re dealing with.”

… AND I WOULD’VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU DAMN KIDS!

Seriously Fowler … blaming “right wing nut cases” because you got caught? Lame, lame, lame.

You got my vote. Lots of liberal tears flowing today and I’m loving each and every one of ‘em!

ABC News says No. That’s a really good sign. Heh.

This flight says … maybe … A chartered flight from Alaska to Ohio on a Thursday evening is probably … I don’t know … rare?

UPDATE: Some facts about this woman pulled from random searches and why I’m hoping hard that she’s the pick:

“Sarah Palin is the mother of five, including an infant son, Trig, who was born with Down Syndrome.”

“Brought to statewide attention because of her whistleblowing on ethical violations by state Republican Party leaders,[1] she won election in 2006 by first defeating the incumbent governor in the Republican primary, then a former Democratic Alaskan governor in the general election.”

On guns, “I am a lifetime member of the NRA, I support our Constitutional right to bear arms and am a proponent of gun safety programs for Alaska’s youth.”

Hell yeah.

Sickening.

I want you to take a good, looooooong look at these two motherfuckers:

Stare good and hard at those two filthy animals, then read this:

A former Delaware County babysitter who allegedly supplied her child-molesting ex-husband with victims - some as young as 3 months old - has agreed to plead guilty to manufacturing child porn, according to a federal court document filed yesterday.

If that doesn’t make you want to throw up, this just might:

Jackson, who operated a babysitting service out of her former Collingdale home, was facing 30 counts of manufacturing child porn under a superceding indictment filed last month.

She has admitted to turning the supervision of female infants over to her ex-husband, John Jackey Worman, 41, of Colwyn, who had oral and vaginal sex with those infants, prosecutors said.

There is no hell violent and painful enough for that pair. Guilty plea? No problem. No trial. Just a drawn out, horrifying death. Imagine dropping off a 3-month-old infant to day care, picking them up later in the afternoon and having no idea in between that your child had been molested by some disgusting pile of shit. I can’t even begin to imagine the wrath I’d let loose upon someone like that if I found that they were even thinking about touching my child. I’m not talking lawsuit. I’m not even talking baseball-bat beating. I’m talking hours alone with the filthy animal - and I’ll only bring an ice pick, a handsaw, and infinite rage.

So, for what it’s worth, familiarize yourself with this: http://www.familywatchdog.us/

Go there now. It only takes a few seconds to look up your town/zip and you get a handy-dandy map with all sorts of locations and pictures of convicted sex offenders. Is the info accurate? That depends on the good graces of the offender actually registering, doesn’t it?

Either way, be aware. And remember the story in this post.

… if he decides on either Lieberman or Romney as his VP. There’s all this talk about KBH as well. Bleh.

Sarah Palin, where are you? You’d be the ultimate STFU VP pick. Political checkmate. Principled, female, wicked conservative, excellent on energy. Checkmate, checkmate, checkmate, checkmate.

But that won’t happen. We have a greater chance of seeing John Wayne rise from the grave, twist Joe Biden’s arm until he screams uncle, and then go on television with the express purpose of calling Obama a little girl and demanding Hillary get her caboose of a behind in the kitchen to “make me some grub.”

*sigh*

I can dream …

Back when you received forwarded emails that weren’t from Nigeria and that didn’t offer up meds at cheap prices, this is the kind of stuff that was passed around.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.
I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn’t adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it’s third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damn cheap monkeys.

I didn’t know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.

I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn’t want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn’t go bad.

I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.

The odor wasn’t improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn’t take it either. I didn’t bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn’t quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.

I first received that one maybe … I don’t know … 15 years ago? 20 maybe? Puttering around on my DX2-50 with a 100MB hard drive and 28.8 modem (external, because I’ve always been old school).

So last night I’m watching some TV. I had no violently rabid zombie chipmunks to shove down the front of my pants. There was no dentist office open so I couldn’t voluntarily have my front teeth pulled sans anesthesia. I didn’t have a hose available, so I was unable to siphon gas from my car and promptly give myself a flaming enema, and it’s not January, so I couldn’t begin my naked pilgrimage through Nunavut wearing nothing but tightly wrapped barbed wire around my dangly bits. Damn. What’s a deranged masochist to do?

Oh well, MIGHT AS WELL watch Hillary’s speech. It’s more than I wanted to suffer, but that’s what making sacrifices and giving up a piece of your pie is all about.

The most telling moment of the entire speech came at about the 3-4 minute mark. I shall paraphrase:

HILLARY: “I’m a PROUD Democrat!” *WILD cheers from the audience*

HILLARY: “A PROUD Senator from New York!” *WILD cheers from the audience*

HILLARY: “A PROUD American!” *two guys clapping and a few cricket chirps*

HILLARY: “And a PROUD supporter of Barack Obama!” *WILD cheers from the audience*

I couldn’t stomach the whole speech. After I was done vomiting, I had the oddest song stuck in my head. Not sure how it got there but I think it had something to do with that woman …

Hmm.

Why?

Because the dumbass little thuglet deserved it, that’s why.

This article is a tale of two shootings. One by an ex-cop (justified) and one that seems like an officer’s mistake. I’ll split this article up so it makes sense:

A retired Philadelphia cop working as a pizza deliveryman fatally shot a 14-year-old boy who was pointing a gun at him during an attempted robbery yesterday morning in Frankford, police said.

I’m sure one-gun-a-month and the gun show loophole being closed would’ve prevented this 14-year-old from obtaining said weapon.

…the 14-year-old and two other suspects were trying to rob the ex-officer at gunpoint while he was delivering a pizza about 1:15 a.m. on Lesher Street near Bridge, police spokesman Lt. Frank Vanore said.

The boy pointed the gun at the former cop while his cohorts - also believed to be teenagers - attempted to go through the victim’s pockets, Vanore said.

But the deliveryman - whose name was withheld by police - was able to reach into a pocket and pull out a semiautomatic Glock, which he had a permit to carry, Vanore said.

Some will say, “Well, they were just going through his pockets, he didn’t have to shoot that little boy!” That’s batshit crazy talk right there. The only reason we know for a fact that Mr. Pizza Guy isn’t dead, is because he shot first. Good on him for ending that situation. We don’t know anything about him but I hope that he went home to his family and hugged his kids.

The deliveryman shot the gun-wielding boy once in the chest, and the boy was pronounced dead at 2:14 a.m. at Temple University Hospital, police said. His identity was not released pending notification of his family and the identification of his alleged accomplices.

“Gun-wielding boy.” No doubt this’ll pad the Brady’s statistics. When does that “boy” become a “teen”? Just curious. Doesn’t matter, he got exactly what he deserved. Blame his parents for not teaching him how to make better choices. Blame Republicans for not throwing more money at poor, misguided youth. Fact is, at 14, you might have a healthy helping of stupid floating around in that brain of yours, but you know that robbing someone is wrong.

The two other teens were still being sought by police, Vanore said.

Probably hiding somewhere crapping their pants. Funny how the “boy” was shot and killed, but the “teens” are still being sought.

The deliveryman, who is in his 50s, had been assigned to the Northeast and retired from the Police Department around 2000, Vanore said.

The decision of whether to press charges against the deliveryman rests with the District Attorney’s Office, but Vanore said initial information doesn’t suggest that the retired cop acted in a negligent manner.

Because he was a retired cop. Your average 19-year-old pimply college kid trying to make a few bucks doing this same thing would have had the book thrown at him before the pizza went cold.

Vanore said it’s common for retired police officers to “invoke the privilege” to obtain a permit to carry a concealed weapon long after their careers on the street are over.

Invoke the privilege? What a load of horseshit that is.

And shooting #2?

Shortly afterward, in an unrelated shooting, a police officer’s bullet fragment hit a 17-year-old robbery suspect in the face in Fairmount, police said.

Sounds like bad aim or ND.

In the other shooting yesterday, a 23rd District officer questioning robbery suspects in Fairmount about 3 a.m. discharged his gun into a sidewalk, sending one of the teen suspects to the hospital with a graze wound from a bullet fragment, Vanore said.

What the hell did the sidewalk do?

The incident began near Broad and Thompson streets, where three men robbed a 30-year-old woman at gunpoint, Vanore said. The victim provided descriptions of the suspects to police, and responding officers soon found three men fitting the bill at Poplar Street near 23rd.

“As they approached they noticed one of the males, a 17-year-old, had what appeared to be the butt of a gun sticking from his waistband area,” Vanore said. “They ordered him not to move, to drop it, but as he reached for the firearm, one officer discharged.”

… and said, “DANCE MUTHAFUCKA! HEEEHEEEHEEE!”

I don’t know, something smells wrong here. The officer wasn’t pointing his weapon at the suspect, instead pointing it at the ground. He clearly had his finger on the trigger. Was he just trying to scare the crap out of the “teen”? All of this points to some pretty piss-poor decision-making.

That officer’s single bullet hit the sidewalk and broke into fragments, one of which struck the 17-year-old in the face, police said. That teen, who is from College Avenue near 25th Street, was taken to Temple, where he was listed in stable condition.

Also apprehended at the scene was a 14-year-old boy from Dover Street near Oxford.

Another 14-year-old “boy”! I’m beginning to understand this. 14 and younger = boy. 15 and older = teen!

A third suspect fled on foot, but police have a “good idea” as to the identity of that suspect, believed to be a 17-year-old boy, Vanore said.

Oh fer cryin’ out loud.

A “very real-looking pellet gun” found at the scene is believed to have been the weapon officers spotted in the teen’s waistband, according to Vanore.

Maybe I’m just being nitpicky here, but if a pellet gun is “very real-looking”, wouldn’t it then “really look like a pellet gun”? What genius offered up that crappy description.

So there you have it. One dead thuglet, one sidewalk in critical condition.