Kiddie porn cop … beyond reprehensible.

And reaching almost as high on the fucked-up-o-meter …

Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.
And on that farm he had some sheep, E-I-E-I-O.
With a Baa Badge here and a Baa Badge there …
Here a baa, there a badge, everywhere a baa badge …

… see you next week, don’t trash the place while I’m gone.

Saw it over at Sebastians.

What a load of horseshit those fuckers are. Agenda-driven bastards of the worst kind, they are truly a complete joke.

Angry Patriot gets in touch with his inner emotions:

Carter is a low-life, vile, self-rightous ivory towered liberal piece of dogshit. He failed as a President, and now he’s trying to usurp the job of the duly elected President by pretending to be some sort of peace envoy.

And that’s pretty much all that ever needs to be said about Jimmy Peanut.

Another Gun Blog and Armed Canadian both tagged me like a red-headed meme-child. I’m way late coming into this, but I feel a duty to respond! Here goes …

1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
4. Tag at least five more blogs with links.
5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play….

Memoir: One hell of a complicated individual.

My visual illustration - well, here’s where I admit I’m a monstrous fan of Jhonen Vasquez. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac was one of the greatest comics ever written, and Invader Zim was one of the greatest animated shows to grace the airwaves … er … cable lines.

Thus I present to you, as an illustrative representation of my life … Fillerbunny:

I won’t be tagging any others on this because most everyone has been tagged and I waited to long to get this up here!

Over at Robb’s.

Back when a cubicle was my dwelling, a buddy of mine posed the following question to me: “Let’s say you have new sea-faring ship called ‘Bessie’. Each year, a member of the crew retires, and a new member is brought on. Over a hundred years, the original crew and many in between have come and gone. They all repair the ship, replacing plank after wooden plank. Years later, there is no original crew member, and no original part of that ship. It looks the same. They still call it ‘Bessie’ … but … is it in fact still ‘Bessie’?”

Kind of a curious identity question. I wonder if I’ll be pondering that when Earth is over-run with cyborgs.

Buncha quotes in this piece. My favorite is right here:

Kliesen said he saw greatly increased interest in guns for self-defense after the Harvey family was killed at home on New Year’s Day 2006 in Richmond. “A lot of folks are realizing that, as much as the police would like to be there,” Kliesen said, “the only person you can guarantee will be there if you’re ever victimized by a criminal is . . . you.”

Bingo. And don’t forget, while the police might “like to be there,” there’s nothing saying they have to …

Over at DP, there’s an 8th grade exam that shows quite clearly how crazy our public education system is these days. Before I strap on my thinking cap, pass a couple of neatly folded notes around, and check out the cheat sheet I stuffed into my Bic, here’s a summary of student knowledge:

“Nearly half of a recent class could not name a single country that bordered Israel. In an introductory journalism class, 11 of 18 students could not name what country Kabul was in, although we have been at war there for half a decade. Last fall only one in 21 students could name the U.S. secretary of defense. Given a list of four countries - China, Cuba, India, and Japan - not one of those same 21 students could identify India and Japan as democracies. Their grasp of history was little better. The question of when the Civil War was fought invited an array of responses - half a dozen were off by a decade or more. Some students thought that Islam was the principal religion of South America, that Roe v. Wade was about slavery, that 50 justices sit on the U.S. Supreme Court, that the atom bomb was dropped on Hiroshima in 1975.”

M’kay! No. 2 pencil in hand, here I go - on the topic of Geography …

1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?

Climate, much like any earth-bound process is all about opportunity. In this case, the opportunity to make piles of cash by scaring the shit out of people and convincing them that they’re going to wake up one day, walk out their front door, and fry like popcorn chicken.

It depends on many varied factors. For instance, in my home state, we’ve had the 2nd worst winter in something like 140 years, so STFU and leave me alone before I grind your ass into oblivion with my snowblower.

2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?

Wicked Witch of the West.

3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?

Well, they’re convenient to pee in when nobody’s around and you’re fishing. Other than that, blights on the landscape. We should pave them and build more Wal-Marts!

4. Describe the mountains of North America

They’re big, just like every other mountain, douchebag. Okay fine. They’re purple. And majestic.

5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco .

Well, you just named them for me. Other than that, they look like words. And to be honest I really don’t mind John Denver, and I never liked Juan Fernandez coffee.

6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.

Well now, that depends. If you’re talking cheap labor trade, obviously that’s along the Southern border with Mexico. If you’re talking trade as in the import of Canadian goods, that’s clearly to the North (and by the way, Hockey and Kids In The Hall were the two greatest Canadian imports ever … and Molson sucks).

If you’re talking the trade of votes and cash, well that’s wherever Dem presidential candidates happen to be wandering around.

7. Name all the republics of: Europe and give the capital of each.

Wait a second … you want me to know Europe’s geography and capitals but I need to explain the climate in Kansas? Geography indeed …

8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?

Hillary lives on the East coast and she’s kind of frigid.

9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.

Well, apparently - and this is just my understanding of it - something like ten feet of cumulative snow falls down because the earth is … hotter. Then all that stuff melts some time in April … because Spring started a long time ago, I presume. The snow melts, turns the land in a 200-mile radius of my house into something resembling a muddy pit of hell, and eventually I go fishing and piss in aforementioned rivers. There you have it. The cycle of life … er … water.

10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

It spins. I’m not sure about it’s inclination but I’ve heard it tilts both ways if you know what I mean.