Handing out rape whistles does not do anything to solve the problem of a serial rapist attacking college students. I am certain that I’m not the only one appalled at this reaction to a very serious problem that crosses lines of age and gender and is known as one of the more taboo topics of discussion in national media.

Do you realize who the unintended and ignored victims of rape whistles are? That’s right, our dear canine friends. Each puff of air into a rape whistle represents a full-on sonic assault upon our furry brothers of mother earth. What may seem simply like a high-pitched screech to you is full-on audiological carnage to a Shih-Tzu (pronounced “SHIT-zoo”)… a seemingly never-ending stream of airborne torture that can scar our canine friends for the remainder of their dog years.

Handing out rape whistles on a campus is like handing high-powered chainsaws to four year olds. As a loving, caring society we cannot afford toot-outs on the streets, the innocent victims of which are bludgeoned into submission by sound-wave sledgehammers that serve no logical civilian purpose but to fend off an attacking serial rapist intent on violating any number of your orifices without your explicit permission.

Why Do You Want Me In Unimaginable Anguish?

I propose another solution, one that will respect the rights of whistle owners, yet will save man’s best friend from the inherent torment of a life sacrificed by the consequences of accidental or intentional blowing.

Rape-Free Zones:

Rape-Free Zones send a strong message to any would-be criminal that rape is not permitted in a Non-Rape Zone. By making rape illegal in these areas, campus students can feel safe walking the streets at night, knowing that rapists are well aware of an area being a Rape-Free Zone.

But this is not enough.

Students for the Hindrance of Unwanted Thrusting, Undulation, and Perversion (SHUTUP) are also on board in calling for a ban of condoms and KY Jelly within a five mile radius of any university campus with a clearly marked Rape-Free Zone on it’s grounds. By restricting the availability of sexual assault weapons, the likelihood of one of these items being used in an incident of unwanted and uninvited penetration are greatly decreased.

SHUTUP is also combating the increasingly influential forced-wind lobby by instituting a “Whistle Buyback Program” being held at many campus locations where whistle-owners can turn in their unregistered whistles no-questions-asked and receive in return a morning-after pill. Getting whistles off the streets so they do not fall into the hands of careless criminals is a worthy, noble goal for the protection of our community’s innocent young puppies. Whistles to be turned in must have the mouthpiece removed and be securely locked in a separate vacuum-sealed location from the whistle in accordance with state law.

It is time the unwanted audio aggression of rape victims comes to an end! With common-sense measures such as whistle buy-back and Rape-Free Zones, the rights of human and animal alike are respected, and our community remains safer.

How many more times must we read about innocent victims of gun violence?

About the same number of times we’ll hear about “gun-free zones” being the location, I’ll bet.

Layin’ it on thick.

ANOTHER attempt to hide important government records from West Virginians is proceeding through the Legislature - in this case, adding concealment to concealment. It would make secret the names of people who get permits to carry concealed weapons.

Ooooh, concealing concealment! I like that. I believe we should have a concealed effort to conceal concealment.

Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t the purpose of having a concealed weapon the fact that it should be kept private?

Delegate Bill Hamilton, R-Upshur, said some women victims of domestic violence asked him to introduce the bill, because they don’t want anyone to know they’re carrying hidden pistols. Maybe - but we suspect that this is another dubious scheme by the right-to-bear-arms lobby.

Yeah, this has absolutely nothing with the public actually wanting to keep these records secret and stopping panty-wetting journalists from publishing Google maps of stalker victims because of their precious “right-to-know”. This screed gets more and more ridiculous with every word.

“dubious scheme”?

Do antis believe that there’s some HQ deep in the mountains somewhere, where evil “gun lobby people” are rubbing their hands together and cackling, “MWAHAHAHAHA! AGAIN we thwart their legislation! Soon the world will be OURS! BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

The National Rifle Association is backing similar secrecy efforts in other states. Since guns are extremely popular in rural West Virginia, most Mountain State politicians timidly vote as the NRA requests.

Yeah, that’s it. The NRA says, “Get in line, BEOTCH!” and legislators cower in the corner and stutter, “Y-y-y-yes I’m s-s-s-sorry I ever considered voting no!!!”

Nonetheless, we’re amazed that the House Judiciary Committee headed by Delegate Carrie Webster, D-Kanawha, approved this concealment plan. The only opposition came from Delegate Bonnie Brown, also D-Kanawha, who said the public has a right to know which people have loaded guns hidden in their pockets.

“I don’t even like the idea of concealed weapons,” she said. “I read those lists so I know who to stay away from.”

Beyond laughable. West Virginians need to carry openly early and often. Everywhere. If she doesn’t like the idea of concealed weapons, maybe she’ll like the idea of seeing them. Be sure not to laugh if some lady wets herself and runs away from you screaming because you’re a law-abiding gun owner with a secured sidearm.

Sadly, few other legislators are speaking up as the bill sails through the House of Delegates.

Because the NRA has threatened to break their knees, no doubt!

Suppose you’re sitting in church, or a city council meeting, or a school basketball game, or a rock concert, or watching a street parade, and someone nearby has a loaded pistol hidden under his clothing. Don’t you think you’re entitled to know this ominous information?

Let’s change that, shall we? How do you like this re-write?

“Suppose you’re sitting in church, or a city council meeting, or a school basketball game, or a rock concert, or watching a street parade, and someone nearby is HIV positive. Don’t you think you’re entitled to know this ominous information?”

Well? Are you? Why is that ridiculous? HIV can kill, just as a criminal with a loaded weapon can kill. Call it a straw man if you want, I call it a simple comparison. Where does that line get drawn and why is one perceived danger more horrifying than another?

Okay, people with HIV have no choice. There’s a point to be made there. There are obviously so many more choices for a disarmed woman when a slobbering drunk knife-wielding stalker wants to tear her clothes off and rape her for a few hours.

Oh, oh I get it. You’re worried about someone being deranged with that gun, right? Well, what if someone with HIV had a syringe and was deranged enough to stick you with it while you weren’t looking? What then? And don’t tell me it can’t happen.

I think we should publish a list of everybody in West Virginia that has HIV so this unnecessary public menace can be dragged into the light. Do you really want someone with HIV being near your children? What if they’re angry, or have had a bad day? Perhaps we should refrain from serving alcohol to HIV positive individuals because of the public health danger? Just one HIV-whacko with a syringe is all it takes!

It’s a monstrous argument. It’s monstrous when related to law-abiding HIV positive individuals, and it’s just as monstrous when we’re talking about law-abiding gun owners.

One Statehouse observer said the new concealment bill would be “a terrible blow to an open society,” in which government records are available to citizens. He called it “a serious intrusion into the public’s right to know.”

Betcha they were a journalist. It’s opposite day! Intrusions into your right to know is replacing intrusion of privacy! Or did that journalist mean intrusion into their ability to print the whole list in a paper?

Hiding the identity of pistol-packers would compound the problem caused by hiding secret guns.

What problem does the protected identity of someone who purchased a weapon legally and legally applied for a conceal permit cause … other than you soiling your own shorts and them keeping a stalker at bay or their family safe?

Barack Obama, Presidential Candidate, on Crime, via his campaign booklet:

Reduce Crime Recidivism by Providing Ex-Offender Supports:
Obama will work to ensure that ex-offenders have access to job training, substance abuse and mental health counseling, and employment op-portunities. Obama will also create a prison-to-work incentive program and reduce barriers to employment.

Hillary Clinton, Presidential Candidate, on Crime in a 2007 Democratic Debate:

We have to go after mandatory minimums. You know, mandatory sentences for certain violent crimes may be appropriate, but it has been too widely used. And it is using now a discriminatory impact.

Frank Rizzo, former Mayor of Philadelphia on Crime:

“I’m gonna make Attila the Hun look like a faggot after the election’s over.”

My, how times have changed.

Sounds like something straight out of an SNL skit.

Here’s some excellent journalism for you:

Police arrested Taleon for possessing about a half-ounce of crack cocaine and a loaded .25-caliber automatic handgun.

Okay then. Does this weapon exist and where can I get one?

Saw that Sebastian had it up via PGP.

Eight people shot. Gun free zone. California. Strictest, “Safest” gun laws in the country! Anyone want to model a federal firearms program after what California does? Anyone?

Go figure.

I’ve read a few stories about this lately … being required to trade in old ammo for new, shiny, encoded ammo that’s ridiculously expensive.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that if some organization demands and requires the law-abiding to trade in their old ammo, that they can expect said ammo to arrive very quickly. At least 1200 fps.

Jay started it. Unlike Bruce, I’m not in the thick of things down there in Manchester. But thanks to teh niternnet!!1!!! I don’t need to be to expose the obvious. Well … if it’s obvious it doesn’t really need exposin’, at least I can confirm the obvious. Jay’s question was simple … why don’t they release their political affiliations.

Answer … they don’t need to. I will.

I give you … The Granite State Fair Tax Coalition. Not-for-profit and, so they claim, “non-partisan”.

Yeah. A not-for-profit group calling for income taxes in an income-tax free state. Let’s have a look at the current board of directors list:

Rev. William Exner, President
Jane Armstrong, Vice-President
Mark Fernald, Treasurer
Peg Fargo, Secretary
Laurel Redden
Ruth Heden
Sam Mekrut
David Lamarre-Vincent

Don’t forget Executive Director, Paul Henle

I did a bit of digging over at Open Secrets and guess what I found?

Laurel Redden donated $200 to the NH Democratic State Committee. That was in December. Laurel is also the chair of the Salem, NH Democratic Town Committee.

VERDICT: Laurel Redden is a Liberal.

Mark Fernald donated $250 to Barack Obama last month. He’s a partner in Fernald, Taft, Falby & Little.

Note that this liberal fair-tax group advocating a state-wide income tax is doing so under the guise of “unfair property taxes”. Please note that Mark Fernald (Obama donor), is partner of a law firm that specializes in Real Estate Law, according to Findlaw.

In 2003 Mark Fernald also donated $250 to Wesley Clark.

VERDICT: Mark Fernald is a Liberal

Ruth Heden, in May, 2007 donated to “EMILY’s List”. What’s EMILY’s List, you ask? Go there and have a look. Or just go with their tagline: “Supporting pro-choice Democratic women running for congress and governor.”

VERDICT: Ruth Heden is a Liberal

Paul Henle was on the list for a donation of $250 in 1996 (a long time, yes I know) to Arnie Arnesen. Who’s that?

Before, during and after these political interruptions she managed to pursue her real passion – talk radio. In 2000, Talkers Magazine recognized her and her co-host as one of the 100 most powerful talk show hosts in America. Most of her stints were in AM talk but she also did a point-counterpoint show on Public Radio with Charlie Arlinghaus, at that time the State Republican Chair. Her radio programs have covered the landscape of NH and she has been recognized as the Air Personality of the Year in 2004 and 2005 by the NH Association of Broadcasters. Arnie can still be heard every Friday on WKBK radio in Keene, is a regular political analyst on Iowa public radio and a guest host on Air America.

VERDICT: Paul Henle is a Liberal

David Lamarre-Vincent from Public News Service:

Churches across New Hampshire are starting programs to “green” themselves to become better advocates for environmental action. Through a program called “Becoming Green While Staying in the Black,” church leaders are finding ways to reduce their carbon footprint without budget-busting expenses. New Hampshire Council of Churches Executive Director David Lamarre-Vincent says the program helps churches increase their credibility when they preach action to stop global warming. “It is hypocritical for us to preach about reducing your carbon footprint unless the institution of the church has put their money where their mouth was.” Lamarre-Vincent notes that the program starts with an understanding that climate change is a faith issue. “Caring for the planet is a faith issue from the first word in the Bible, and if things are not good now it’s our responsibility as stewards of creation to care for it.”

I always knew it was a religion. There’s your confirmation.

VERDICT: David Lamarre-Vincent is a Liberal

The President of the Granite State Fair Tax Coalition is Rev. William Exner.

Have a look at this article. Or just this snippet:

“The Rev. William Exner, chairman of the social outreach ministries of the Episcopal diocese of New Hampshire, said the local Episcopal church started a peace fellowship about three years ago. Today, it has about 30 members who reach out to parishes. Exner estimates that today, up to 70 percent of Episcopal churchgoers in the state are “progressive, liberal peacemaker-type people.” But he said that has grown little by little. “There was a small but growing voice, and in the last year a very substantive change.”

VERDICT: Rev. William Exner is a Liberal

This was too easy and Jay was right. This is not a “non-partisan” organization. It’s a group of liberals with a stealth non-profit organization advocating an income tax in a state that makes it’s money because of it’s tax advantage.

So what’s this bullshit about the “religious right”? What a meme that is. As much barking as you hear about this whole “evangelical right” made up of these rabid republicans you’d think we could find some. Seems to me the religious right has been hijacked by the left in quite a bait-and-switch.

What does this all come down to? The New Hampshire Fair Tax Coalition is a liberal organization with a liberal make-up in their board of directors. Lifelong Democrats advancing a liberal public policy through the guise of a non-partisan “fight-for-the-common-taxpayer” facade.

I call bullshit. Kick them out of this state. Live Free Or Die is a great motto, but quite honestly I prefer Live Free Or Fuck Off.