Ahab is all over this twit who has himself a panty-wetting party over the XBOX 360 game, Mass Effect:

Now, this is a topic near and dear to my heart as it’s an amazing next-gen game. I was itching to get my gamer paws on it for a year before it came out, and had it pre-ordered (the Collector’s Edition, no less) at least two months before it shipped. I’m through it twice, even.But I’m not going to defend the game or minimize what this horse’s ass at Townhall said.It is NOT a game for children. There’s violence, implied sex, and all sorts of adult themes and decisions wrapped around a very cinematic experience with an excellent sci-fi story as it’s backbone. The game is incredible and enjoyable. But the sex?

It’s … well … short. It lasts about a minute, and it’s not like you’ve got to point the pecker to the whole and spastically tap X and Y buttons for a bit of the ol’ in-out-in-out which is pretty much how this oatmeal-for-brains Kevin McCullough would have you believe. It’s so not-scandalous as to render his assumptions completely ridiculous. I’d sooner get worked up over Shatner tonguing some lady with springy antennae and green face paint than I would this 50-second bit in Mass Effect.

The game can be played in under 10 hours. It can be played in 20-30 hours of you continually explore and follow all of the story lines. One of the things that makes the game’s story so fascinating is that your character develops relationships - and in this case possibly physical (if you select the proper dialog options throughout the game), and … (*SPOILER ALERT*) … after this “video-pr0n”, you’ve got to decide on weather to let your character’s love interest sacrifice themselves for the good of a mission.

Now you can view the videos at Ahab’s place. I only offer this … A game called Dead or Alive Extreme Volleyball 2. It makes me wonder why this tool manufactured controversy around Mass Effect when crap like this has been on gaming systems for years:

NSFW alert. Kiddies-in-the-room alert.

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Excellent. Kimber is marketing an “SIS” pistol … observe:

City leaders criticize the modified version of a gun originally made for an elite unit of the Los Angeles Police Department that has a history of fatal shootings.

How DARE you name a pistol in reference to our “elite” officers who happen to shoot lots of people!

Here’s a background of the SIS from later in the article:

The SIS has long been a source of controversy, which has stemmed from the unit’s practice until recent years of following suspects and waiting for them to commit crimes before confronting them.

The strategy has sometimes turned deadly; at least 37 suspects have been killed by SIS detectives since the unit was founded in 1965, according to police records.

LAPD officials have defended the section’s work, saying detectives needed strong measures to go after the most treacherous criminals.

The unit was responsible for solving the murder of Bill Cosby’s son, Ennis, and worked on the Alphabet Bomber and Hillside Strangler cases.

And why the outrage from “city leaders”?

To the dismay of some city leaders, a gun company is marketing a line of high-end pistols named for the LAPD’s Special Investigation Section, an elite group of plainclothes detectives with a history of fatally shooting suspects.

Sorry … I know it’s not funny … but … that just cracks me up every time … hang on …

The guns for the undercover unit were created at the request of the Los Angeles Police Department. Kimber, a Yonkers, N.Y.-based gun maker, is marketing a slightly modified version to the public, touting the weapons as the “hot new SIS pistols” on the company’s website.

For each of the more than $1,000 guns sold, Kimber says it will donate $15 to the nonprofit Los Angeles Police Memorial Foundation, which provides financial support to officers and their families in times of death, injury or illness.

A little case of “What’s good for me is not for thee,” on behalf of those LAPD folks? No. This is just barking by politicians who make money by barking at weapons that - much to their disappointment, mind you - don’t do anything evil unless in the hands of a criminal.

Bonus points for spotting the … er … not-so-veiled threat, then:

But news that a weapon is being marketed with an “SIS” serration — a clear reference to the LAPD — was met with criticism from city and civil rights leaders.

“It is very disturbing,” said Councilman Jack Weiss. “If any member of the public is shot with one of these guns or, heaven forbid, a cop is shot with one these guns, what would be the explanation?”

I certainly don’t want to put words in Councilman Weiss’ mouth, but is it just me or does he sound like he’s a little eager for just such a thing to happen in order to claim some moral high ground with the great, political I-told-you-so card that he’d no doubt use to sue Kimber and pander to voters that don’t know any better?

“I can’t believe it! They’re naming a gun after the LAPD unit (with a history of fatally shooting suspects)! They’re imbibing it with the spirits of murder and death! Those guns will go out and kill cops all by themselves!”

Capt. Kyle Jackson, head of the Robbery Homicide Division who oversees the SIS, said the department did not request that the initials be placed on the guns it ordered. And, he said, Kimber did not need the department’s permission to sell the modified versions.

Damn right. They’re donating to a good cause. Politicians should encourage it, it’s not as if thugs selling crack on the corner are going to waltz into gun shops, go through the background check, and put a grand down for one of these weapons. First, that’s too much money and it would buy too much crack, second, thugs don’t pass background checks.

These are the kinds of guns that get purchased by law abiding citizens with some cash burning a hole in their pocket. Good for Kimber.

The pistol itself sounds like a winner:

The LAPD began using four models of the single-action, semiautomatic .45-caliber handguns late last year. LAPD officials said it took 18 months to develop the weapons, which they said are designed to be lighter and more easily concealed than the guns regularly used by the department.

Kimber’s SIS models for the LAPD and the public can be cocked and fired with one hand, in case the other is injured or otherwise unavailable. The company designed various models of the weapon for different police uses: two 5-inch versions for officers’ belts and vests, and the smaller 4- and 3-inch versions for the stakeout vehicle and off-duty protection, respectively.

Hey! Up there in the sky? It’s … it’s … PSH!

“There is something fundamentally wrong with the commercial sales of these highly specialized weapons to the public,” said civil rights attorney Carol Sobel.

Highly specialized? It’s a gun, you idiot. There should be no weapon in possession of the police that cannot be owned by your every day civilian. Unless you - as a civil rights attorney - advocate the eventual establishment of an authoritative police state.

The United States Government.

Arming terrorrists …

The Bush administration will move ahead with a high-profile arms sale to Saudi Arabia as early as Monday, as part of a $20bn package of deals with the Gulf States.

… and supporting the disarmament of it’s citizens …

Makes me want to buy an AK-47.

There is a thought-provoking post at Daily Pundit about a “None of the Above” option on voting ballots. Bill describes it as having to choose between essentially evil and more evil.

The “None of the Above” campaign reminds me of Brewster’s Millions with Richard Pryor. If only. But I digress.

I got to thinking of something I heard often growing up, “Don’t Vote? Don’t Bitch.” It’s got all the makings of a snarky holier-than-thou stance on a major issue, except … it doesn’t make any sense.

If you’re of voting age and you decide not to vote for a candidate because you’re too busy out drinking, that’s one thing. Keeping your vote out of the hands of scumbag politicians by choice, however, is something different altogether.

Picture yourself in a room. In front of you, there are two buckets on a table. Each bucket is full to the brim … with shit. Different shit in each bucket, but make no mistake, there’s two buckets of poo in front of you.

Now you have a choice just like one of millions of people. You can vote for one of these buckets to be dumped upon your head. Subsequently other people will make the same decision and eventually the most popular choice earns you four years of having that exact kind of fecal expulsion dumped upon you, your car, your home, your kids, your desk at work. When you turn on the TV, it’ll ooze out of the speakers. When you apply for a loan the banker will throw some of it in your face. For four years, you’ll have this … filth … surrounding every bit of your every day life. Some days you might not notice it as much, but it’s always there.

Now you may tell your friends - who are all voting for the poo on the left, no doubt - that you’re not making a decision because neither choice is desirable to you. They’ll give you ridiculous facts about each bucket:

“The one on the LEFT doesn’t have any corn in it!”

“The one on the RIGHT smells a little less!”

“You ALWAYS vote for the bucket on the left!”

“The bucket on the RIGHT is the lesser of two fecals!” (Okay, that’s bad, but stick with me here)

And they’ll be excited about these facts. Some people will be more excited than others, of course. Some people will raise funds for a bucket, throwing money at that shit to try and convince more people that it’s better than the other shit.

Eventually, voting day is here. Your choice? Shit, or different shit. Now, no matter what, you’re going to get shit on. A lot. Every day. Because this country can’t run without it’s fair share of shit meddling into your daily affairs. So you abstain. Your reward? Well, you don’t have to go to the room with the two buckets and decide on one of them to be dropped on you. Because - you reason - that no matter what, you’re going to have all the shit you can handle for the next four years anyway. There’s nothing wrong with that.

So are the two buckets different? Well, yes, technically. One has a big R on it, one has a big D on it, but both of them are full of shit. In the end, does it truly matter? Some shit smells worse, some shit has corn in it, but break it down and it’s the same ol’ shit.

This is pretty much my reasoning (when I’m not … you know … slurping down chocolate pudding or something) behind an all-or-nothing stance of my own. I voted for Thompson in the NH primary. I think he’s got the right ideals on just about every issue I care deeply about. If he’s the Republican nominee, he’ll get my vote.

Pon Raul? That’s some crazy shit. Huckabee? Holy shit. Romney? Slick shit. Giuliani? Mean shit. McCain? That cacho mierda. No matter how you spoon it, it’s the same damn thing.

So perhaps this will make you a little more comfortable in your own decision, whatever that may be. Either way, if someone gives you some shit about who you intend to vote - or not vote - for, send them my way and tell them to read this … er … crap.

Upgrading (errrr … “converting,” technically) from B2evo to Wordpress. Stick with me here …

Okay, it looks as if though the permalink structure has changed, which means those bazillions of links I get from other blogs (coughyeahrightcough) will no longer function properly.

Oh well.  I’m sure my blog won’t be worth $5K+ anymore, but that’s okay, I don’t think anyone was going to purchase it anyway.

Now that I’ve moved in … time to pretty up the place!

There are some sick people out there.

Exhibit 1 - Maria Sharapova, Tennis Superstar and Generally Accepted Hottie:

Exhibit 2 - Eww:

Entertainment Group Limited, the same company responsible for bringing the Pete Sampras - Roger Federer showdown to Malaysia, are attempting to satisfy the Asian public’s insatiable appetite for Maria memorabilia by auctioning off hotel items which the tennis icon will use during her stay such as towels, bed linens, slippers, and even a swimsuit.

Several requests for a toilet seat, however, were turned down.

That’s really creepy.

Saw it over at Blogonomicon. Here’s my new band and our first album:

I was quite fortunate to have possibly one of the coolest band names known to man, and the picture ain’t bad either. At least it wasn’t some wedding photo or grandma’s kitty. I’m not much of a photo artist, but I was going for that kind of late 80s “U2 look” for the cover.

… Police are only minutes away.

Wow. Via Politics, Guns, and Beer (a name most excellent enough for an immediate addition to the blogroll, by the way).