This is epic:

God, I feel like the ex-girlfriend that just figured out her ex- only tries to get back together with her long enough to get laid. She keeps taking him back, putting out, then finds him in shower nailing her roommate Cindy.

Enough. I’ve had it.

Tell you what, GOP.

If you decide you want the gun vote back, then get us an honest to God pro-Second Amendment candidate. Give him or her the support you never gave Thompson.

If you prove you really, really care about me and want to stick with me, I might… just might… let you back into my panties.

Until then…. F*** off.

Hell yeah!

Taking it easy on FELONS in NH!

A proposal to decriminalize small amounts of marijuana in New Hampshire has police testifying on both sides of the volatile issue.

The proposal is to make the possession of up to 1.25 ounces of marijuana a violation that carries a $200 fine, instead of a misdemeanor that can result in up to a year in jail and fines up to $2,500.

It will be fascinating to see how hard local pols hold on to all that potential revenue.

At a hearing on Tuesday, supporters, including a police officer and the superintendent of the Cheshire County Jail, said the war on drugs, especially on small amounts of marijuana, wastes resources and damages lives.

“Peaceful adults in possession of small amounts of marijuana do not harm others, but they do occupy our police, clog up our court system and take up space in our jails,” Jail Superintendent Richard Van Wickler told the House Criminal Justice and Public Safety Committee.

I couldn’t agree more, honestly. And I don’t smoke the stuff.

It’s pretty clear that the war on drugs is a major boondoggle full of feel-good soundbytes and fat politicians. It’s a war on almost all drugs, really. Personally I don’t give a crap about what someone does in the comfort of their own home. That changes when something they do infringes upon my rights to live in peace and happiness. Give me my peace and happiness or I beat the everloving shit out of you.

But New Hampshire Police Chiefs Association President Peter Morency said the state should not condone marijuana use by ending any criminal sanction.

“Every drug dealer I’ve always talked to says it all started with the first joint,” said Morency, police chief in Berlin.

Yep. Clouds their judgment and makes them do baaaaaad things. Just like guns! Guns and drugs use the same mind control rays! One joint turns them into a drive-by-shootin’ dealer!

One of the sponsors, Nashua Democrat Jeffery Fontas, told the committee drug charges do damage to young people later in life.

“Mistakes early in life, like a possession charge, can be devastating to the futures of our young people,” said Fontas, who turned 21 a week ago.

Supporters said a single drug arrest can lead to the loss of a college scholarship, the ability to serve in the military, subsidized housing, federal welfare like food stamps and even the right to vote.

Okay, just because I happen to agree that ridiculous trumped up charges for possession of some green crap in your back pocket can really screw you up in the long term, does NOT mean that I think it should be legalized so we can commence with allowing stoners to suck at the federal tax-cash udder. Subsidized housing? Federal welfare? Food stamps? My goodness.

Bradley Jardis, of Hooksett, a police officer in Rockingham County, said he supports the measure and considers the four-decade war on drugs a failure.

“There’s a financial incentive for some from law enforcement to oppose this bill, as their very own job is financed by this war that can’t be won,” Jardis said.

When all logic seems to fail, follow the big money trail …

QUICK! There’s no legislation! MAKE SOME!

New Hampshire is debating making it illegal for drivers to send text messages on cell phones or type on laptop computers.

Okay, if you’re typing on a laptop while you’re driving, you deserve to wrap yourself around the nearest birch.

But this?

“Our officers see far too many instances of people driving down the highway, particularly teens and young adults, paying absolutely no attention to their driving as they send and receive text messages,” Assistant Safety Commissioner Earl Sweeney told a House committee Tuesday.

Sweeney supported the bill and the $100 fine it would impose on offenders.

The state already has a law allowing police to ticket distracted drivers. But witnesses at the hearing said that law doesn’t do enough to address the serious risk of drivers using their knees to hold the wheel while they text-message on tiny phones or type on laptops.

See that … there’s ALREADY a law … but we need to legislate this more. Clearly these people are a danger to themselves and society! There must be accidents every day in this state because of text messaging while driving, right?

Campbell noted that at 65 mph, a driver paying attention to his text message instead of his driving was traveling 88 feet per second down the highway.

Okay, that’s kind of a stupid obscure statistic that has nothing to do with things. There are stats on how often this happens, right? And thus the need to legislate it?

Rep. Beverly Rodeschin, another co-sponsor, said that at least when drivers are applying lipstick or brushing their hair while driving they have one hand on the wheel.

So is it legal to jerk off while driving? Just curious, you know. That way if I get pulled over I can tell the Officer, “Hey! At least I had ONE HAND on the wheel, right? It’s not like I’m TEXTING! Oh. Sorry … here, let me wipe that badge off for you …”

Stuart Trachy, lobbyist for AT&T, testified for the bill as a way to encourage responsible use of the company’s cell phones.

Hmmm. Texting must be cheaper.

Okay … what about those stats? Blood in the streets?

Other states are considering similar bans. In a recent Massachusetts case, a 13-year-old boy died, allegedly as a result of a man driving an SUV while text-messaging. Drivers who read and compose text messages in Washington state could face a $124 ticket under a law that took effect Jan. 1. And Phoenix banned text messaging while driving in the city last year.

That’s lame. “Other states are doing it,” and “some Masshole did it,” are not statistics.

Farking nannies!

Crap.

Well, on the bright side, I don’t have any plans for Election Day! I refuse to vote for a statist (Giuliani), a nanny who’s good buddies with Ted Kennedy (Romney), someone who wants to re-write the Constitution of this nation to be more aligned with god (Huckabee) or a Democrat (Hillary, Edwards, Obama or … McCain … or Huckabee again).

I will say this - I would rather sever my hand off with a plastic spork than go into a booth and vote for McCain. I won’t do it. The only case where I would consider voting for him is if Thompson is the Veep, and even then the chance I’ll actually vote for that open-borders, Constitutionally ignorant RINO would be about one hundredth of one percent. And why?

Because I’d rather not be in the position of wishing a President to die while they’re in office. Makes me feel icky.

Via The War On Guns, a most excellent article on the psychology of the anti-gunners.

Basically, they’re a bunch of pussies.

This is priceless:

People are suspicious of what they do not know-and not only does this man not know how to use a gun, he doesn’t know the men who do, or the number of people who have successfully used one to defend themselves from injury or death. But he is better left in the dark; his life is hard enough knowing there are men out there who don’t sit cross-legged. That they’re able to handle a firearm instead of being handled by it would be too much to bear.

Heh. Ouch.

Prove it, Hillary:

I would also work to reinstate the assault-weapons ban. We now have, once again, police deaths going up around the country, and in large measure because bad guys now have assault weapons again. We stopped it for awhile. Now they’re back on the streets.

Lying liar just like her lying liar husband.

I’m got a lot of patience and a loooooooong fuse when it comes to people who have experienced personal tragedy, but I’ve gotta tell you … that fuse is gone. I’m totally sick of the Cindy Sheehanization of the Virginia Tech Massacre. Complete moral authority regardless of how wrong you are. I’m very sorry for your loss, now shut up and stop grandstanding atop the victims bodies:

Despite pleas by Tech families, Va. panel rejects gun bill:

“Please don’t say these innocent lives were lost,” said Lori Haas of Richmond, whose daughter Emily survived two shots in her head, speaking to the committee. “They weren’t lost; they were killed by a sick person who should not have had that gun. Every one of you sitting here today can prevent someone else from suffering this anguish.”

Um hello? I’d like an order of Reality with some “know-what-you’re-talking-about-before-opening-your-mouth” on the side?

Republicans on the panel and gun rights lobbyists voiced sympathy for the victims but said the Tech parents’ efforts are misdirected. Cho did not buy the two pistols he used at Tech at guns shows. He bought one from a pawnbroker, the other online, and passed background checks both times.

“Gun shows are not part of what happened there,” said Philip Van Cleave, president of the Virginia Citizens Defense League, who accused gun control advocates of using the Tech tragedy to advance their cause. “Some of those who are not in favor of guns saw this as an opportunity to open up the toy box.”

What! Imagine my shock! Somebody using a personal tragedy to advance a misguided agenda! That’s a funny toy box, it has the word “pandora” written on the side.

Note to moral high-horse trotters: The ability to purchase a firearm is not a “loophole”, it’s a right. Now for the sake of the victims, the taxpayers, and yourselves, shut up and think without bias before mounting your aforementioned vertically augmented equine. Thank you, that is all.

There’s a long piece in the Dallas Morning News covering all sorts of angles and examining whether people are getting shot in Dallas because of the law change. I’m not going to go through the whole thing because I refuse to read past the extremely entertaining first paragraph:

The shootings came fast, a bang-bang-bang cluster of cases starting in early autumn that quickly had police, prosecutors and the media wondering about the sudden impact of Texas’ new castle law.

Police. Prosecutors. The Media?

No shortage of self-importance in journalism, I suppose.