So last night I’m watching some TV. I had no violently rabid zombie chipmunks to shove down the front of my pants. There was no dentist office open so I couldn’t voluntarily have my front teeth pulled sans anesthesia. I didn’t have a hose available, so I was unable to siphon gas from my car and promptly give myself a flaming enema, and it’s not January, so I couldn’t begin my naked pilgrimage through Nunavut wearing nothing but tightly wrapped barbed wire around my dangly bits. Damn. What’s a deranged masochist to do?
Oh well, MIGHT AS WELL watch Hillary’s speech. It’s more than I wanted to suffer, but that’s what making sacrifices and giving up a piece of your pie is all about.
The most telling moment of the entire speech came at about the 3-4 minute mark. I shall paraphrase:
HILLARY: “I’m a PROUD Democrat!” *WILD cheers from the audience*
HILLARY: “A PROUD Senator from New York!” *WILD cheers from the audience*
HILLARY: “A PROUD American!” *two guys clapping and a few cricket chirps*
HILLARY: “And a PROUD supporter of Barack Obama!” *WILD cheers from the audience*
I couldn’t stomach the whole speech. After I was done vomiting, I had the oddest song stuck in my head. Not sure how it got there but I think it had something to do with that woman …
Across racial and religious boundaries, Iraqi politicians on Saturday bemoaned Democratic presidential contender Barack Obama’s choice of running mate, known in Iraq as the author of a 2006 plan to divide the country into ethnic and sectarian enclaves.
“This choice of Biden is disappointing, because he is the creator of the idea of dividing Iraq,” Salih al-Mutlaq, head of National Dialogue, one of the main Sunni Arab blocs in parliament, told Reuters.
I’m actually enjoying the whole Dem circus thing right now. Hillary possibly preparing to let out her inner bitch (not the “every day” bitch we usually see), and Obama - who it seems can’t really say what he means unless he’s had preparation and a teleprompter. Now we’ve lucked out with him picking Biden as a VP choice. If what Pelosi says is true, that Obama is a leader “God has blessed us with“, then Biden is surely Satan Incarnate. Obama - Biden, it’s like Stryper and Slayer touring together, except they’re bigger poseurs!
I loathe Biden. He’s a scumbag politician through and through. He’s a lot like Ted Kennedy, yet he somehow manages to be both a better asshole and a better driver. So Obama, when faced with the decision of choosing a complimentary running mate, doesn’t decide to go with the whole Hopenchangey thing he’s been droning on about over the past 6 months (roughly the same amount of time he’s been in politics, I think), he instead picks an aggressive schmuck who seems to relish pissing people off and saying stupid shit.
Bad for Obama. GREAT for me!
I can’t stand today’s politics and politicians, but the next couple of months are going to produce some excellent TV. I’m hoping for a Biden/McCain bare-hand cage death match in prime time hosted by Jerry Springer and Carmen Electra, followed by a National Enquirer SHOCK piece featuring Michelle Obama sharing a cigar with BJ Clinton on a Motel 8 balcony in some seedy Detroit neighborhood. SWEET! Warm up the DVR, people!
Obama. Elitist and completely out of touch with your average American might pick as his running mate …
… someone who is elitist and completely out of touch with your average American? Say it ain’t so.
My heart fills with horror at the thought of this man being one bullet away from the Presidency on that ticket …
“There’s a story in today’s Washington Post that says that Democrats are going to run away from the issue of gun safety. I don’t think that we can get elected nationally if we are not prepared to stand up against powerful special interests. Too many die each year from guns. I am for the assault weapons ban. I’m for the Brady Bill.”
- John Kerry: Democratic Presidential 2004 Primary Debate in Detroit Oct 27, 2003
Yeah, I’m allowed to list “He’s a dork” as one of the reasons I loathe this bastard.
I don’t want someone with foreign policy experience ordering a Philly cheesesteak with friggin’ SWISS cheese. I want someone with foreign policy experience splashing some A1 on a live cow and taking a bite. Only apologizing to the cow afterwards, of course.
What a traitorous, incompetent, elitist disaster this man is.
Even as I write, our investigative teams are vigorously searching through public documents and compiling a detailed database on your past activities. And, I must say, some of it is quite… shall we say, “interesting.” Like your __18 AUG 1979___ plea of __NOLO CONTENDRE__ for the crime of __COW TIPPING_/ PUBLIC NUDITY / SCHED II MARIJUANA POSS__. Or your ___22 MAY 2003__ arrest for __COW TIPPING_/ PUBLIC NUDITY / SCHED II MARIJUANA POSS__. Or your __26 JAN 1970__ _RECESS_DETENTION__ for _BACKSASS /_URINATING ON JUNGLE GYM__ .
If you want to beat me up – feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare …
Heh. What else did she do, you naughty little boy? Spank you with a gavel?
PREDICTION TIME!!!
He’ll appear at the Dem convention and he’ll get a standing ovation for some reason. Proving once again that liberals are nothing more than a bunch of bass-ackward twits unable to distinguish legal behavior from illegal behavior as part of a victim-worshipping cult.
“Because the worst of all cases would be McCain losing by razor thin margins”
I was pondering that very point earlier today. It’s dead-on. Anything short of complete annihilation of McCain in the election will be twisted as an endorsement of this new, shitty brand of conservatism. Consider it backwards evolution of conservative principles. Soft-Core-Conservatism, even. Anything short of a monumental defeat for John McCain has serious, negative implications for the GOP. All of a sudden, conservatives - the kind for limited government, secure borders, and individual liberty - are going to be relegated to the political trash-heap as we become a two party system in name only (we are right on the cusp as it is and have been for some time). Liberal RINO Republicans won’t NEED conservatives and all of the hassles they come with. Bet on yourself being ignored. You’ll have liberals and conservatives like some people have two left feet. Two parties tripping over themselves trying to pander to the same groups with only slight differences in principles and equal amounts of disdain for the “common man”.
Meanwhile, along with libertarians you’ll have conservatives. There will be no reasonable candidate for them, and any candidate that does arrive will be ridiculed as another Perot, another Nader, etc. etc. etc. Someone who’ll threaten the “real” candidate by stealing votes for no good reason. Welcome to the third-party abyss, where you’ll never have a valid candidate because you’re just a nut, a freak, and a fringe psycho.
Is McCain better than Barack It’s Mega-Maid … She’s Gone From Suck To Blow Obama? I don’t think so. You can make the argument for the 2nd Amendment even though McCain is all for closing the mythical loophole. And of course Barack Oh Shit, There Goes The Planet Obama loves global warming just as much as McCain does. And you’re going to go on and on about supreme court nominations? Don’t forget that McCain supported Ginsburg and Breyer.
Don’t think he’ll look to work with his “friends across the aisle” when it comes to avoiding a fight and nominating someone that everyone finds palatable? Sure. Obama has promised the same thing, of course. If you believe either of them, you’re nuts.
The coming election is looking more and more like a deranged, dragged-on comedy skit from those horrible SNL years. We have happy, fuzzy, fluffy national security for one candidate. The other candidate is an old, “mavericky” version of the same person.
John McCain’s presidential campaign is airing a new television ad in New Hampshire and other battleground states. The ad draws attention to the Republican senator’s call for cutting back on the pollutants that cause global warming. The ad portrays McCain as an adversary of President George W. Bush on climate change. It says McCain stood up to the president and sounded the alarm on global warming — five years ago.
All this proves is that you’ve been a fucking idiot for a LOOOOOOONG TIME.
A “Global Warming” ad.
In New Hampshire.
I shit you not. We just had the COLDEST FUCKING SNOWIEST GODDAMN WINTER IN SOMETHING LIKE A HUNDRED YEARS. I don’t even think MCCAIN was alive the last time we had this much fucking snow. And you’re airing a global warming ad? Are you SERIOUS?
INCON-FUCKING-CEIVABLE!
This can’t be happening. I refuse to believe the reality that we have a hopeychangey marxist retard going up against Mr. RINO McClimateChange for President of the United States. Talk about damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
What’s worse than a Presidential candidate who is a liberal collectivist elitist scumbag that wants to turn this country into a socialist utopia?
TWO OF ‘EM! That’s what. Double your pleasure, double your fun, double your nanny state ass-raping. Yay!
I'm a gun-nut, a gamer, and a snarky bloviator. A pissed XP abuser turned pompous Linux user. Tech-head, blogger, mastered Pong and Frogger, a shootin' tennis player who still has all his hair. So there.
