We, Will, We, Will Barack You Obama: “I’ve got a bracelet, too!!!!11!!”

Dude. If you’re going to wear the bracelet of a dead soldier, remember his farking name. He sounded like Porky Pig … “Abedyeabedyeabedyea that’s all folks!”

Epic. Fail.

McCain: “I’m suspending my campaign, the economy is in danger!”

Obama: “Call me if you need me, I’ll be in Florida signing autographs.”

McCain: “We should all have a meeting … two days before the debate!”

Obama: “Can’t pat your head and rub your tummy, you wrinkly old prune? Send me an email if you decide to debate, OH! SNAP! You can’t. Haw haw.”

Bush: “Get to Washington.”

… and with that, Barack The Casbah Obama gets pwned. How? Have you seen this guy without a teleprompter?

Look, I’m no fan of John McCain, but I think what happened here is really advantageous for him. First, the debate is on foreign policy. His strong suit, not so much for Mr. Tea-Sipper-With-World-Leaders-Community-Organizer.

The drama around the suspended campaign and the question of whether the debate would go on - much like the lead-up to Sarah Palin’s speech at the Republican Convention - has fueled the desire to see this debate. McCain - by doing the whole “campaign suspension” thing, has virtually guaranteed that more people will watch a foreign-policy debate between these two candidates.

Second, Obama’s focus hasn’t been on debate preparation for the past few days for a topic that I believe most people agree to be his weakest. Barack Like An Egyptian Obama was yanked to Washington by McCain, cutting into his prep time for the debate. McCain guaranteed a bigger audience for the foreign policy debate, and once again Barack And Roll All Night Obama had the rug of positive polling numbers yanked out from under him as he was upstaged. Where has he been the last few days? All you’ve heard was that he was at a table with everyone else - all anyone is talking about is McCain. Barney Frank is complaining MIGHTILY about this whole “McCain charging in” thing and the how the deal was torpedoed - which by the way is what a clear majority of Americans are looking for - NOT to hand 700 Billion to some guy to give it to a bunch of people that are noted screw-ups.

I don’t know about you, but when I hear Democrats complaining about things not going their way, it’s sweet, sweet music to my ears.

Is McCain a camera-mugging grandstander? Absolutely. Was all of this intentional (ie: cutting preparation short, stealing the spotlight, ratcheting up the drama and viewership for his strongest debate topic)? I don’t know. If it were Bush, I’d say hell no, just a combination of stupidity and luck, but McCain got Palin right, so I’m willing to fork over a teeny portion of Benefit-of-the-Doubt. I think it’s a case of some political planning, and unintended but largely positive consequences.

We’ll see after tonight, that’s for sure. If Obama comes off looking like a socialist dweeb (as if he hasn’t already), McCain wins the week big.

And on the thought of debates, why can’t we have a single debate dedicated to the topic of constitutionality. I’d love to hear these candidates answers on the 1st, 2nd, and 4th Amendments.

Okay, so the liberal media sharks have been out in full force, trying hard to make tempests in various teapots. Tonight should be really interesting.

I think people have been grandly underestimating Sarah Palin’s toughness. No, I’m not talking the whole gut-a-moose thing. I’m talking about something she’s done that neither Obama, Biden, or McCain could possibly accomplish.

She gave birth to five kids.

It takes a special kind of hard-ass to pull something like that off. I was with my wife when she delivered our boys. That’s some scary shit right there. I know I couldn’t do it. You don’t go insulting someone’s offspring after they’ve gone through labor with said offspring. My son could be having the worst day ever. He could be a brat from 6AM to 6PM, getting in trouble, drawing with markers on the sofa, breaking expensive things, but I’ll guarantee you this … if someone so much as sneers at the boy while Mom is around, she’ll kill the bastard with her bare hands. Moms are like that.

Now have a look at this picture:

The last thing I would do is piss off someone like that by attacking their family. I have a feeling tonight that she’ll be field-dressing some lefty scumbags and leaving a few carcasses hanging around the convention center. I, for one, am hoping to witness a bloodbath, and I have a feeling that this perky “hockey mom” is going to come out swinging.

Great to see that racism, bigotry, ignorance, gross stupidity and threats are alive and well these days.

If McCain wins, look for a full-fledged race and class war, fueled by a deflated and depressed country, soaring crime, homelessness - and hopelessness!

That is exactly what an uneducated, incompetent, racist fool sounds like.

Couldn’t resist the comparison:

ABC News’ Teddy Davis Reports: Former DNC Chairman Don Fowler apologized on Sunday for joking in a private conversation that the timing of Hurricane Gustav demonstrates that God is on the side of the Democrats.

“If this offended anybody, I personally apologize,” Fowler told ABC News. “It was a mistake, and it was a satirical statement made in jest. And one that I clearly don’t believe.”

No doubt here that he was joking about it. And that it blew up at all is kinda stupid if you ask me.

But this is some funny shit right here:

Fowler was secretly recorded by the person sitting behind him while flying from Denver, Colo., to Charlotte, N.C., following the Democratic National Convention. His conversation with Rep. John Spratt, D-S.C., was anonymously posted to YouTube and highlighted by RedState.com, a conservative blog.

“One doesn’t anticipate that one’s private conversation will be surreptitiously taped by some right-wing nutcase,” said Fowler. “But that’s the nature of what we’re dealing with.”

… AND I WOULD’VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU DAMN KIDS!

Seriously Fowler … blaming “right wing nut cases” because you got caught? Lame, lame, lame.

You got my vote. Lots of liberal tears flowing today and I’m loving each and every one of ‘em!

ABC News says No. That’s a really good sign. Heh.

This flight says … maybe … A chartered flight from Alaska to Ohio on a Thursday evening is probably … I don’t know … rare?

UPDATE: Some facts about this woman pulled from random searches and why I’m hoping hard that she’s the pick:

“Sarah Palin is the mother of five, including an infant son, Trig, who was born with Down Syndrome.”

“Brought to statewide attention because of her whistleblowing on ethical violations by state Republican Party leaders,[1] she won election in 2006 by first defeating the incumbent governor in the Republican primary, then a former Democratic Alaskan governor in the general election.”

On guns, “I am a lifetime member of the NRA, I support our Constitutional right to bear arms and am a proponent of gun safety programs for Alaska’s youth.”

Hell yeah.

So last night I’m watching some TV. I had no violently rabid zombie chipmunks to shove down the front of my pants. There was no dentist office open so I couldn’t voluntarily have my front teeth pulled sans anesthesia. I didn’t have a hose available, so I was unable to siphon gas from my car and promptly give myself a flaming enema, and it’s not January, so I couldn’t begin my naked pilgrimage through Nunavut wearing nothing but tightly wrapped barbed wire around my dangly bits. Damn. What’s a deranged masochist to do?

Oh well, MIGHT AS WELL watch Hillary’s speech. It’s more than I wanted to suffer, but that’s what making sacrifices and giving up a piece of your pie is all about.

The most telling moment of the entire speech came at about the 3-4 minute mark. I shall paraphrase:

HILLARY: “I’m a PROUD Democrat!” *WILD cheers from the audience*

HILLARY: “A PROUD Senator from New York!” *WILD cheers from the audience*

HILLARY: “A PROUD American!” *two guys clapping and a few cricket chirps*

HILLARY: “And a PROUD supporter of Barack Obama!” *WILD cheers from the audience*

I couldn’t stomach the whole speech. After I was done vomiting, I had the oddest song stuck in my head. Not sure how it got there but I think it had something to do with that woman …

Hmm.