I’m not a big fan of banning things, but I can’t say I’m sad to hear that this isn’t taking off for a few reasons.

There are three things you can do with a body once a person is dead.

1) Burn, baby burn. Stick the ashes in a can, and off you go.

2) Bury it.

3) Smear on lipstick and stick on some of your mom’s old clothes, prop it up on your porch in a sexually suggestive position, and serenade it for the purpose of horrifying anyone unfortunate enough to be taking a walk in your neighborhood that day.

But this thing … Resomations?

The process of resomation turns human remains into a liquid. Supporters said it’s more environmentally friendly than cremation, which can release mercury. But lawmakers who reacted against what the process involves decided to ban it, even though it has been legal in the state for two years.

I’m torn. A Democrat introduced the bill wanting to “study” it and prohibit it until they can find out more, NH decides to ban it outright. On one side, I don’t think an outright ban is really warranted, on the other side, I’m more than pleased to see Democrats slap down an enviro-whacko even if it’s because they think the process is icky.

Environmentally friendly … dead person liquid. Geh.

Resomation is done with a machine that uses hot water, high pressure and lye to dissolve a body. The liquid remains can be disposed of in the sewer system, and ash from the bones can be put in an urn.

“Hi, Mrs. Smith? Thank you for calling. I know this is a difficult time and your husband was a very good man. We realize he lived his life with great dignity and I’m pleased to let you know that we completed the process of his environmentally friendly resomation and my associate Ronaldo said a prayer for your husband before pouring him into some old milk jugs and dumping him into a sewer drain out by the street… ”

This is what happens when global warming drives invention. I won’t bother linking, but if you end up finding the home page for this resomation thing, you’ll be treated to all sorts of environmentally friendly liquid goodness with a healthy dose of global-warming-guilt thrown in … and go figure, they’re based in the UK.

UPDATE: Just another thought … You know, if they found a way to liquefy enviro-worshippers and turn them into automotive fuel, I’d be in full support of it … I’d easily pay $5 a gallon in a guzzling hunk of an automobile just to drive up the demand.

Over at DP, there’s an 8th grade exam that shows quite clearly how crazy our public education system is these days. Before I strap on my thinking cap, pass a couple of neatly folded notes around, and check out the cheat sheet I stuffed into my Bic, here’s a summary of student knowledge:

“Nearly half of a recent class could not name a single country that bordered Israel. In an introductory journalism class, 11 of 18 students could not name what country Kabul was in, although we have been at war there for half a decade. Last fall only one in 21 students could name the U.S. secretary of defense. Given a list of four countries - China, Cuba, India, and Japan - not one of those same 21 students could identify India and Japan as democracies. Their grasp of history was little better. The question of when the Civil War was fought invited an array of responses - half a dozen were off by a decade or more. Some students thought that Islam was the principal religion of South America, that Roe v. Wade was about slavery, that 50 justices sit on the U.S. Supreme Court, that the atom bomb was dropped on Hiroshima in 1975.”

M’kay! No. 2 pencil in hand, here I go - on the topic of Geography …

1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?

Climate, much like any earth-bound process is all about opportunity. In this case, the opportunity to make piles of cash by scaring the shit out of people and convincing them that they’re going to wake up one day, walk out their front door, and fry like popcorn chicken.

It depends on many varied factors. For instance, in my home state, we’ve had the 2nd worst winter in something like 140 years, so STFU and leave me alone before I grind your ass into oblivion with my snowblower.

2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?

Wicked Witch of the West.

3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?

Well, they’re convenient to pee in when nobody’s around and you’re fishing. Other than that, blights on the landscape. We should pave them and build more Wal-Marts!

4. Describe the mountains of North America

They’re big, just like every other mountain, douchebag. Okay fine. They’re purple. And majestic.

5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco .

Well, you just named them for me. Other than that, they look like words. And to be honest I really don’t mind John Denver, and I never liked Juan Fernandez coffee.

6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.

Well now, that depends. If you’re talking cheap labor trade, obviously that’s along the Southern border with Mexico. If you’re talking trade as in the import of Canadian goods, that’s clearly to the North (and by the way, Hockey and Kids In The Hall were the two greatest Canadian imports ever … and Molson sucks).

If you’re talking the trade of votes and cash, well that’s wherever Dem presidential candidates happen to be wandering around.

7. Name all the republics of: Europe and give the capital of each.

Wait a second … you want me to know Europe’s geography and capitals but I need to explain the climate in Kansas? Geography indeed …

8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?

Hillary lives on the East coast and she’s kind of frigid.

9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.

Well, apparently - and this is just my understanding of it - something like ten feet of cumulative snow falls down because the earth is … hotter. Then all that stuff melts some time in April … because Spring started a long time ago, I presume. The snow melts, turns the land in a 200-mile radius of my house into something resembling a muddy pit of hell, and eventually I go fishing and piss in aforementioned rivers. There you have it. The cycle of life … er … water.

10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

It spins. I’m not sure about it’s inclination but I’ve heard it tilts both ways if you know what I mean.

You forget to carry a 1, and we’re subjected to this asshole:

Damned if we do, damned if we don’t …

Owls In New Hampshire Struggling To Find Food

GLOBAL WARMING! Errr … maybe not …

Owls are struggling to find food in New Hampshire this winter, animal rescuers said.

Debra Gode, of Winchester, said the owls’ main food — the red-backed vole, a rodent — are in short supply. She said the constant snow cover also has made it harder to find food.

Great. As if I wasn’t guilty enough about it being my fault that the seas are going to rise 20 feet and we’re all going to incinerate because my minivan isn’t a hybrid and my lightbulbs are still incandescent, now I have to feel guilty because there’s just too much snow. Next time, let’s take the long way home, stuff some more carbon in the atmosphere and make next winter warmer. Save the OWLS!

Regarding this dipshit. Ahab nails the hysterical global warming cultists to the wall:

What could be more religious than hoping for a Great Flood to wipe the unbelievers from the earth?

Hell. Yeah.

An Australian professor has been drinking too much Fosters:

“Every newborn baby in Australia represents a potent source of greenhouse gas emissions for an average of 80 years, not simply by breathing but by the profligate consumption of resources typical of our society,” he wrote.

“Far from showering financial booty on new mothers and rewarding greenhouse-unfriendly behaviour, a ‘baby levy’ in the form of a carbon tax should apply, in line with the ‘polluter pays’ principle.”

This was followed by a most excellent response …

Australian Family Association spokeswoman Angela Conway said it was ridiculous to blame babies for global warming.

“I think self-important professors with silly ideas should have to pay carbon tax for all the hot air they create,” she said.

… along with an unfortunate addition of further lunacy:

“There’s masses of evidence to say that child-rich families have much lower resource consumption per head than other styles of households.

Via National Geographic:

Simultaneous warming on Earth and Mars suggests that our planet’s recent climate changes have a natural—and not a human-induced—cause, according to one scientist’s controversial theory.

Doesn’t sound all that controversial to me. I’ll bet you those little piss-ant Mars Rovers didn’t pass California emissions!

Have a look at this over at CO2 Science:

… there is no compelling reason to believe that earth’s current warmth is sustained to any degree by its extra 100 ppm of CO2. It’s the enhanced activity of the sun that is likely responsible for it.

Criminally irresponsible! This is TREASON!

And on Science Daily (via Daily Pundit), Arctic Ocean Circulation Does An About-Face:

A team of NASA and university scientists has detected an ongoing reversal in Arctic Ocean circulation triggered by atmospheric circulation changes that vary on decade-long time scales. The results suggest not all the large changes seen in Arctic climate in recent years are a result of long-term trends associated with global warming.

HERETICS! BURN them at the stake of Global Warming!

Over at Space.com, Pluto’s SUVs are baffling scientists:

They suspect the average surface temperature increased about 3.5 degrees Fahrenheit, or slightly less than 2 degrees Celsius.

Even Neptune’s Moon, Triton is getting in on the HOT ACTION:

“At least since 1989, Triton has been undergoing a period of global warming,” confirms astronomer James Elliot, professor of Earth, Atmospheric and Planetary Sciences at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. “Percentage-wise, it’s a very large increase.”

#$&%@! Looks like we’ll have to purchase EXTRA carbon credits to cover all of those damn coal plants on Triton. But that’s okay, it’s not like Al Gore is going to profit!

Meanwhile, over at the NY Times:

Along with rising temperatures, global warming is very likely to cause a shift toward more extreme weather — stronger storms with more rainfall, and longer and more severe droughts. Those changes are likely to have large-scale, obvious effects on farmlands, grasslands and forests and on the creatures that inhabit them.

Riiiiiight. Like the 2006 Hurricane Season and the “very active 2007 hurricane season“? One word. Fizzle.

Now all of this isn’t to say that because other planets are warming, that it means the sun is warming everything and that’s that. Not at all. What all of these facts do indicate is this:

1) Warming occurs on planets other than our own and scientists remain “baffled” (their words, not mine).

2) There are no SUVs on these planets (Though Kucinich might say otherwise)
3) Al Gore’s carbon footprints are all over this kind of hysteria - because he profits from it.
4) We cannot predict weather one season ahead, yet it’s a fact that if we don’t act right now, the seas will swell up 20 feet, all the polar bears will die, and Bush will be to blame.
5) There’s oodles of scientific evidence showing that the Earth has gone through periods of warming and cooling - much more drastic than this one - and yet there was no industry. There were probably more cows though. DAMN FLATULENT COWS!

It’s a big load of crap. All of it. Does the climate change? Yes. That’s why it’s cool in the winter, and warm in the summer. Is it our fault as naughty humans?

Hardly.

It’s been happening since well before we were here, and it’ll continue to happen well after we’re all gone.

“Over the past few years, The Weather Channel has evolved its position on global warming in an effort to objectively represent what the state of the science is,” said Dr. Heidi Cullen, recently appointed Climate Expert for The Weather Channel. “In regard to the role that people play in influencing our climate, we recognize and respect that there will be those who disagree with us, but our position is consistent with that of the majority of climate scientists.”

Heh.