Microsoft Silverlight.

Malkin has it up. This part is positively priceless:

Unless you believe the events of 9/11 were the result of a government conspiracy, which by the way would make you a MORON, there is no reasonable argument you can make against there being a true and dangerous threat that needs to be dealt with. i don’t care if there are corporations leaching off the war effort to make money, and i don’t care if you don’t think our freedom within America’s borders is actually at stake. i just want to kill those who would harm my family and friends. it is that simple.

Pure poetry. That right there is what a proud American sounds like. Thank you Army Specialist Stephen Fortunato. Rest in peace. You are hereby added to my list of “awesome badass motherfuckers I’ll be buying a beer for if there happens to be an afterlife.”

Our back door in the house is kind of … sticky. The door is slightly too big for the opening and being the safe and secure type of person I am, I like it shut and locked.

Shutting the door, however, is really difficult. Basically, you have to turn the lock and slam your upper body against it as hard as possible. I was engaging in this amusing routine today as my wife was looking at me. Slam. Whack. Slam. Whack. I was unwittingly re-enacting one of my favorite music videos, like, farking EVER. She looked at me strangely for a brief moment as I started singing … then got the joke. Much laughing ensued. The video? Here it is. And no, my high-note didn’t sound all that great …

Yeah, it’s outdated. Corny. Campy. Borderline crappy. And I love every second of that oozy ’80s cheese.

My sides hurt …

Obama obviously thinks the gun issue is important. He and his surrogates constantly repeat the claim that he has always supported an individual right to own guns. But the media should stop uncritically reporting the claim without checking his past statements.

BWAHAHAHAHA! That’s like telling a retarded monkey to stop flinging poo. They don’t understand. If they did, they wouldn’t care anyway, and all you’re going to get for your effort is another face-full of warm, stinking, high-velocity crap. SPLUCK.

Marko seems to have such fun with it. Seems like a nice quick Friday-like post. Here goes:

grand theft auto san andreas: Crap. GTA is way overrated. Horrid graphics, shitty storylines. It’s basically like bad internet porn where everything’s blacked out. Want some fun running around and killing stuff? Get Dead Rising.

fighting for liberty: That would be me.

what does pussy taste like: Well, this generally all depends on your particular palate. If I were ever to eat me some, I’d probably prefer a pot-roast style braising. Maybe some rosemary and garlic, a simple buttered white rice on the side, all accompanied by a light and fruity pinot noir.

In Vietnam, they’ll fry it up with pig ass and stick it on a plate for about 40 cents, which is a pretty good deal by my estimation.

sania mirza: She’s a very attractive young tennis player from India - born in Mumbai. She’s Muslim. I think you can figure out what goes on from there. I’ll give you three clues: Sport skirts. Islamo-fascist barbarians. Fatwa.

wolf ammo: Filthy stuff, but hey, it’s cheap.

sks: Say what you want about Commies but they made some damn fun guns. I’ve refinished mine to a lovely lustre and it shoots like a dream - as if that matters when you can’t hit the broad side of a barn with it past 50 yards. Heh.

soccer mom gun and meleanie hain: Yep, she’s the soccer mom who DARED offend people by being responsible and open-carrying in a public place where it was perfectly legal. Then she had her carry permit revoked because too many people wet themselves.

age required to have a gun: In some countries, you can’t. Here it varies. My guess is the person issuing this Google query was trying to find out an age in order to make an argument against guns, but that’s just a hunch.

slimy pussy pictures upclose: I am a benevolent blog owner who aims to please my visitors. If you want to see an up close picture of a slimy pussy … just click here.

Just because. Click for GOLIATH SLUG!

Salt was unavailable for comment.

… here a Moo, there a Moo everywhere a deranged cop making milkshakes with another species.

Ew:

A Moorestown, N.J., police officer was indicted yesterday on sexual-assault and animal-cruelty charges for allegedly having sex on several occasions with girls and cows.

Make love, not burgers. PETA should hire this guy.

If the charges regarding him sexually assaulting some girl for 5 years in his home are true, I say cut off his nuts and feed him to hungry barnyard pigs.

Dammit I love this story.

Kudos to you, Mr. McNally. You rescued your little girl from a monster and rid the planet of a depraved sexual predator in one motion. Here’s hoping you don’t lose one second of thinking about the scumbag you were forced to put down…

(And on a side note: Imagine being the next poor bastard who wants to date this girl knowing that her father killed a man with his bare hands rather than let harm befall her…)

Made of awesome.