Marko seems to have such fun with it. Seems like a nice quick Friday-like post. Here goes:

grand theft auto san andreas: Crap. GTA is way overrated. Horrid graphics, shitty storylines. It’s basically like bad internet porn where everything’s blacked out. Want some fun running around and killing stuff? Get Dead Rising.

fighting for liberty: That would be me.

what does pussy taste like: Well, this generally all depends on your particular palate. If I were ever to eat me some, I’d probably prefer a pot-roast style braising. Maybe some rosemary and garlic, a simple buttered white rice on the side, all accompanied by a light and fruity pinot noir.

In Vietnam, they’ll fry it up with pig ass and stick it on a plate for about 40 cents, which is a pretty good deal by my estimation.

sania mirza: She’s a very attractive young tennis player from India - born in Mumbai. She’s Muslim. I think you can figure out what goes on from there. I’ll give you three clues: Sport skirts. Islamo-fascist barbarians. Fatwa.

wolf ammo: Filthy stuff, but hey, it’s cheap.

sks: Say what you want about Commies but they made some damn fun guns. I’ve refinished mine to a lovely lustre and it shoots like a dream - as if that matters when you can’t hit the broad side of a barn with it past 50 yards. Heh.

soccer mom gun and meleanie hain: Yep, she’s the soccer mom who DARED offend people by being responsible and open-carrying in a public place where it was perfectly legal. Then she had her carry permit revoked because too many people wet themselves.

age required to have a gun: In some countries, you can’t. Here it varies. My guess is the person issuing this Google query was trying to find out an age in order to make an argument against guns, but that’s just a hunch.

slimy pussy pictures upclose: I am a benevolent blog owner who aims to please my visitors. If you want to see an up close picture of a slimy pussy … just click here.

Just because. Click for GOLIATH SLUG!

Salt was unavailable for comment.

… here a Moo, there a Moo everywhere a deranged cop making milkshakes with another species.

Ew:

A Moorestown, N.J., police officer was indicted yesterday on sexual-assault and animal-cruelty charges for allegedly having sex on several occasions with girls and cows.

Make love, not burgers. PETA should hire this guy.

If the charges regarding him sexually assaulting some girl for 5 years in his home are true, I say cut off his nuts and feed him to hungry barnyard pigs.

Dammit I love this story.

Kudos to you, Mr. McNally. You rescued your little girl from a monster and rid the planet of a depraved sexual predator in one motion. Here’s hoping you don’t lose one second of thinking about the scumbag you were forced to put down…

(And on a side note: Imagine being the next poor bastard who wants to date this girl knowing that her father killed a man with his bare hands rather than let harm befall her…)

Made of awesome.

McCain: “I’m suspending my campaign, the economy is in danger!”

Obama: “Call me if you need me, I’ll be in Florida signing autographs.”

McCain: “We should all have a meeting … two days before the debate!”

Obama: “Can’t pat your head and rub your tummy, you wrinkly old prune? Send me an email if you decide to debate, OH! SNAP! You can’t. Haw haw.”

Bush: “Get to Washington.”

… and with that, Barack The Casbah Obama gets pwned. How? Have you seen this guy without a teleprompter?

Look, I’m no fan of John McCain, but I think what happened here is really advantageous for him. First, the debate is on foreign policy. His strong suit, not so much for Mr. Tea-Sipper-With-World-Leaders-Community-Organizer.

The drama around the suspended campaign and the question of whether the debate would go on - much like the lead-up to Sarah Palin’s speech at the Republican Convention - has fueled the desire to see this debate. McCain - by doing the whole “campaign suspension” thing, has virtually guaranteed that more people will watch a foreign-policy debate between these two candidates.

Second, Obama’s focus hasn’t been on debate preparation for the past few days for a topic that I believe most people agree to be his weakest. Barack Like An Egyptian Obama was yanked to Washington by McCain, cutting into his prep time for the debate. McCain guaranteed a bigger audience for the foreign policy debate, and once again Barack And Roll All Night Obama had the rug of positive polling numbers yanked out from under him as he was upstaged. Where has he been the last few days? All you’ve heard was that he was at a table with everyone else - all anyone is talking about is McCain. Barney Frank is complaining MIGHTILY about this whole “McCain charging in” thing and the how the deal was torpedoed - which by the way is what a clear majority of Americans are looking for - NOT to hand 700 Billion to some guy to give it to a bunch of people that are noted screw-ups.

I don’t know about you, but when I hear Democrats complaining about things not going their way, it’s sweet, sweet music to my ears.

Is McCain a camera-mugging grandstander? Absolutely. Was all of this intentional (ie: cutting preparation short, stealing the spotlight, ratcheting up the drama and viewership for his strongest debate topic)? I don’t know. If it were Bush, I’d say hell no, just a combination of stupidity and luck, but McCain got Palin right, so I’m willing to fork over a teeny portion of Benefit-of-the-Doubt. I think it’s a case of some political planning, and unintended but largely positive consequences.

We’ll see after tonight, that’s for sure. If Obama comes off looking like a socialist dweeb (as if he hasn’t already), McCain wins the week big.

And on the thought of debates, why can’t we have a single debate dedicated to the topic of constitutionality. I’d love to hear these candidates answers on the 1st, 2nd, and 4th Amendments.

… the following statements can be heard at the dinner table:

1) “We don’t throw rocks while eating dinner.”

2) “That’s not where your food goes.”

3) “Please eat like a human.”

4) “Put the panda down and finish your food.”

Too much going on! Fall is here … Winter is coming … If I don’t prepare now, I am doomed!

See you in about a week.

No, I haven’t completely lost it.

MA Firefighter Revives Cat with CPR:

A lucky cat in New Bedford owes one of its nine lives to a firefighter who revived it with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Al Machado rescued the cat from a burning apartment on Monday. But he told The Standard Times of New Bedford he saw immediately that the cat needed air.

So Machado began performing mouth to mouth on the animal as he carried it outside.

That’s one hell of a firefighter if you ask me. Wicked good. Respect for life both human and animal and my hat’s off to him even though I’m joking about it.

The cat, a tiger angora, was revived and resting comfortably soon after.

… smoking a cigarette.

Asked what it tasted like to give mouth-to-mouth to a cat, Machado grimaced and said: “Like fur.”

Or a combination of Fancy Feast and cat ass. And that’s as far as I’m running with it. I’m not delving into … er … bad taste? Oh jeez.

Here’s a video of the mouth-to-pussy event. NSFW! Heh. Just kidding.