Okay, SayUncle has the goods.

What’s really funny here is that it’s someone with NRA connections who infiltrated an anti-gun group for years. Now, as a PRO-GUN individual, this is easy. When anti-gun folk are having a meeting, walk in and say what you would expect - as a pro-gun person - an anti-gun person to say:

1) “If we remove all guns, there will be less crime!”

2) “Nobody needs an AK-47!”

3) “The Gun Lobby needs to be taught a lesson!”

4) “Gun-nuts are compensating for mini-schlong-itis!”

And there you have it. That group of frothing anti-gun activists will warmly accept you in the ranks, for you have offered the only greeting they understand and communicated it perfectly in their own language - an agreement with the echo chamber!

Likewise, it’s near impossible for an anti-gun individual to infiltrate a pro-gun group. The reason for this is that the anti-brain has a distinct and irrefutable vision of what a pro-gun individual is like, and thus, is unable to cloak their true intentions because of their inability to merge with actual facts and ideals. For instance, if an anti-person walked into a pro-gun meeting wanting to hide their true agenda and become one of the “good ol’ boys”, they would most likely blurt out one of the following:

1) “So nice to be here with all you other murderous macho bigots!”

2) “Hey everyone! I brought a case of Pabst! Let’s go murder some negros!”

3) “What’s so unreasonable about registration, microstamping, and a ban on anything that can fire a projectile at greater than 30 feet-per-second?”

4) “I keep rocket launchers in my trunk and I married my sister just like you all!”

Since the anti-brain is incapable of processing a piece of information that is based in fact, they are biologically incapable of preventing their own true colors from being shown when placed in a stressful situation. If you’re ever at an NRA meeting and you hear any of the above statements, or someone exhibits signs of panic and stress such as profuse sweating, fidgeting, trembling, projectile vomiting or making poopy pants, calmly approach them and inform them that it’s no use - they should go back to the fantasy land from which they came.

This guy did.

Memo to idiot: Do not attempt to start your lawnmower while drunk.

See, we’re a bunch of religious, gun-toting nutjobs. Barack Truly, You Have A Dizzying Intellect Obama was right!

Look at this crap:

Among those applauding the Supreme Court’s recent 5-4 ruling seconding the Second Amendment are the good folks at Windsor Hills Baptist Church in Oklahoma City. You can find a link to the court’s ruling on the church’s web site. It follows a brief explanation of the church’s decision to give away a gun at its annual youth conference this month.

As Dave Barry often says, I wish I were making this up.

Well that certainly makes your stance clear from the get-go. Commence with the terrible jokes!

Praise the Lord and pass the automatic assault rifles. One nation, under God, locked and loaded. In Guns We Trust.

How goofy! Bring on the Brady Quote!

Rev. Rachel Smith, whose blog “God Not Guns” is a project of the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, calls it gundamentalism.

GUNDAMENTALISM! Love it. Boy that’s just … wow … clever as it gets right there, isn’t it? That makes me a congregate at Our Patron of the Ammunition Downrange Explusionist!

“America’s gun culture is marked by zeal closely akin to that of religious fundamentalism. The gun-rights movement is built upon a system of belief that is both absolutist and aggressive. It has its sacred text, its creed, its icon and its ideology.”

And its adherents.

On the Windsor Hills web site, you’ll find a 30-minute video of highlights from the church’s 2007 youth conference. The video includes gun-battle scenes from “The Patriot,” Mel Gibson’s movie about the American Revolution. It includes scenes of the conference gun-shooting competition (cancelled this year) — boys firing automatic and semi-automatic assault rifles at last year’s shooting competition.

It also includes scenes of pastors preaching and dancing, once again proving that white men have no rhythm, in the pulpit or on the stage.

All this means … what exactly? Religions whackjobs enjoy dancing poorly and watching a drunk antisemitic loon? Who the hell cares about any of this, anyway? Other than your average lefty collectivist? Is a shooting competition so bad? Were they shooting at people or at targets? Was it safe?

Again … who cares?

I watched the video, expecting to see some sort of wild-eyed cult of survivalist extremists. Instead I saw men and women, boys and girls eating and playing, singing and praying. I saw the good, God-fearing people who elect our presidents, fight our wars, patrol our streets and put food on our tables.

Here’s where the author just isn’t trying. Praise the Lord and pass the automatic assault rifle? Gun rights advocates are just like these religions freakazoids? Religious fundamentalists are “absolutist and aggressive” and now they’re “good, God-fearing people”? Maybe it’s just me, I think this is a most transparent compliment meant as a sort of apathetic cloak of someone who’s clearly anti-gun and anti-religion.

Nothing wrong with that. I’m not at all religious, I just like shooting crap. A lot. Religion has nothing do to with it. I don’t “cling to guns” because I see it somehow on par with my religious belief. I cling to them because I like the feeling of cold steel against my face as I caress them alone in my basement, whispering sweet nothings into their chambers and lubing them up with gun oil like some kind of perverted masseuse who can’t keep his hands off ‘em.

Or not.

I see people who are products of our gundamentalist culture, people who drape the cross with a flag, people who believe the Second Amendment should be one of the Ten Commandments, people who seem to have more trust in guns than in God.

I think that completely misses the mark of this article. Are anti-folk really this stupid? The people at that church strike me as people who worship God, and love their guns.

I, however, trust guns more than God because if some thug makes the most unfortunate decision to break into my house with the intent to murder or rape some member of my family, sitting there and praying isn’t going to do a damn thing. Shooting the bastard will, and it would be up to me to do it, not God.

Fair season is in full swing here in NH now. Seems like nearly every town has some kind of fair going on - carnival rides, displays of all sorts of stuff and people showing off cattle. I never thought I’d get into the horse-pulling and ox-cart obstacle course navigation thing, but it’s actually quite amusing.

In small doses.

One of the things I greatly enjoy are raffles. I like the idea of spending 5 bucks for a chance to win something cool. Sure enough, we stopped by the Haverhill Fair and there’s the Vermont Trappers Association booth! They were showing off a few stuffed critters and plenty of skins as well as a couple of firearms such as a pink .22 Cricket. Nice.

So what’s being raffled off? Well, tell me if you think it would be nice to win any of these for five bucks …

1st: Weatherby Vanguard 300 WSM

2nd: Remington Model 700 Buckmaster 30-06

3rd: Remington Model 870 Super Mag 3-1/2″ 12 Ga.

4th: Stevens Gold Wing 12 Ga.

5th: Mossberg ATR Bolt Rifle - 308 Win.

6th: Stevens Model 200 Grey - 243 Win.

7th: Mossberg 535 Turkey Model 3-1/2″ 12 Ga.

8th: Remington 870 Youth Model 20 Ga.

9th: Ruger Model 10/22 Carbine

10th: Cricket Pink Lady .22

You see that right … they’re raffling off all 10 in September. I’d be happy with any of them. I’ll be hoping for a phone call!

Crazy guy has a 10-inch knife in McD’s … waving it around and threatening people. Police arrive, shoot the guy, and he goes to the hospital. The story itself isn’t all that interesting, but what IS completely fascinating is the fact that the Police had means to stop this guy, and all of the people in McDonald’s didn’t … observe …

A female employee called police at about 7:40 p.m. asking for assistance. Officers responded and saw the man sitting in the restaurant that was filled with other customers as well. He refused to put down the knife when police asked, Monfette said.

Of course, nobody had a gun to defend themselves there. What about non-lethal self defense?

Officers tried to subdue him with two canisters of a chemical spray, but it did not stop him, Monfette said.

“He lunged at one police officer (with the knife) and another one shot at him,” Monfette said.

And there you have it. One method doesn’t work, the other method does. Crystal clear.

Well, that was fun.

As seen everywhere else, these were some of the fine people who attended:

Jay
Marko
Lissa
TOTWTYTR
Liberty
JD
Doubletrouble
Ted
Weer’d Beard
Bruce

… and special guest star …

Paul - From State Line Gun Shop

Now, the shoot was on the 20th, and I believe I had the most driving to do, so I was up at the crack of 0-dark-30 to get my butt in gear, inhale some caffeine, and start driving. The driving was rough going through Northern Siberia, across the Arctic, through the Canadian wilderness, and finally down through NH on my way to pick up Marko. Bingo! We have met our first other blogger, and I’ve only been on the road for an hour at that point.

I learned a little bit about everybody on Sunday, and thought I’d share my impressions of this most excellent event. First up, Marko, who I need to devote some extra space to, considering we rode together for four total hours on Sunday.

Marko was both an excellent navigator, and simply great company on an extended drive. I’ve never spent two hours in a car with someone I’d met in person only minutes before, so you never really know what’s going to happen in that situation. No sweat, though. We both have a tech-type background, we’re both at-home Dads, and even found that we share a similar nationality! At least in part. All in all, the perfect start to a great day, hanging with someone you have quite a bit in common with. We shared some laughs over Stephen King’s “It”, he gave me an excellent tip regarding Windex and corrosive ammo, and we talked about all things Dad-like. Turns out he believes - much as I do - that the Terrible Two’s don’t exist, but the Threes downright suck.

And he has the same opinion of the movie Mr. Mom that I do. Namely, the next person who mentions it when I say the words “stay-at-home-Dad” will get an enthusiastic beating.

We showed up and were promptly greeted by smiling faces, enthusiastic handshakes, and just a general warm brotherhood all the way around.

Oh yeah … and there were guns … EVERYWHERE. Friggin’ AWESOME!

And what did I learn about everyone else? In no particular order …

Lissa makes damn good cookies, is impossibly sweet and good natured, and I quite honestly think I had more fun watching her experience all sorts of firearms for the first time than I did shooting my own. I think part of the reason shooters enjoy new shooters so much is because we’re re-living that experience ourselves, at least in small part. I remember my first few shots with the mosin and the SKS. And Lissa and I took our first shots with a fully automatic weapon just a few minutes apart at the blogger shoot. Read her amazing perspective of the day. She gets it.

TOTWTYTR. Any owner of such a fine rifle as the Enfield No4 Mk2 is okay in my book. And a fellow Mosin M91 owner! “Too Old To Work, Too Young To Retire” … maybe, but just right to hang out and shoot with for an afternoon!

JD, I wish we spent more time chatting. I have to find out AFTER the shoot that you’ve been in Martial Arts for years and years. Dammit! Everyone at the shoot was smiling, having fun, and sharing funny stories about anything and everything, JD was no exception. And he’s an engineer!

And on that topic, if I may digress … ever notice that there are an abundance of techy-type people who are also gun-lovers? Perhaps it’s the love of simplistic machinery that goes bang when you pull a trigger instead of giving you an error, not allowing a bullet to exit a barrel because of a firewall, or requiring hours upon hours of coding to do something stupidly simple such as projecting a hunk of lead downrange into the plastic skull cavity of a furby at 2000 feet per second.

Doubletrouble. Our most gracious and kind host who was trusting enough to hand over his backyard to us all. One day, I want a backyard that at least temporarily contains enough weaponry and ammunition to invade a not-so-small country … twice. And the dude has a cannon. A CANNON! I mean, come on, how cool is that!

Ted. Ted brought the Teletubby, a Sun workstation, and an NT machine to a shooting range with the explicit intent of laughing while each of those objects gets fired upon. That’s just impossibly cool. Another fellow tech-person, a Dad, and yet another new friend met at the bloggershoot (that makes it sound as if though we launch bloggers into the air and shoot them …). Ted’s another person I met Sunday that I wouldn’t mind hanging out with at the range any time. If only I didn’t live in Moscow! Heh.

Weer’d Beard. One of the most knowledgeable firearm owners I’ve ever met. And he has some badass weapons of his own. How the hell do you look at an ejected case from a Mosin-Nagant and immediately point out, “Oh, that’s Hungarian ammo!” He’s a Scrapple fan with some highly entertaining views of French-Canadian cuisine. Like deep-fried lard dumplings in grease sauce. I had always wondered what that sound was at night - living a mere three hours from Montreal, I now know for a fact it’s the sound of arteries hardening across that border!

Bruce. Bruce started out the day by handing me twenty strippers! Err … stripper clips. We shared a meatball sandwich together, though rumors of it being similar to the scene from Lady and the Tramp are completely untrue. Bruce was highly entertaining and it was great to get to know him. He showed off his wicked good New England accent, and I’ve been laughing about the potato song since I left Sunday afternoon. Something about a spud patch or something like that. Dammit that was funny. He’s also a hell of a shot with that 10/22, nailing a 3-inch tall baby Shrek with ease.

And last but certainly not least, Jay. What can I say about this loud, wild-eyed organizer of the event other than, “he’s damn cool”. Bayonet charge on a teletubby? Check. Shotgun with a razor-sharp blade bayonet? Check. A few times during the event the thought crossed my mind … “He’s somebody’s DAD …. that’s friggin’ AWESOME!” He has some impressive firearms and was a major reason this event was the success it was by being the organizer and head range honcho, blowing the whistle loud enough to make dogs explode and simultaneously shooting enough ordnance towards Massachusetts to make liberals explode! Our kids are roughly the same age and I’m fairly certain our respective critters are going to have moments as they’re growing up where they are positively mortified at their parent’s exceedingly goofy (and quite likely remembered as hilarious) behavior.

I will save perhaps my most generous compliment for him. If ever there was a zombie apocalypse, I’d want Jay watching my back.

It’s easy to feel at ease around strangers with warm personalities around, and I think all of us were nutty enough to make this a rousing success. I can’t wait for next year!

Also a special thanks to Paul from the State Line Gun Shop. Paul loaded up and let me get behind that 9mm Submachine gun. After I emptied it, he was mightily impressed at my accuracy with the full auto. Now let me tell you - any person who compliments me by saying I have excellent accuracy with an automatic weapon will always be all right with me.

Damn that was fun. Let’s do it again!

Shotgun FRUIT SALAD!

More video to come … I think …

Where’s yer BSOD NOW, bitch!?