Blogger Fhtagn
July 18th, 2010
This one’s for you, BP. Since you happen to write like one of my favorite authors …
Archive
Archive for the ‘ZOMG WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!11!one!’ Category
STOP IT!
May 3rd, 2010
Okay … so I give up my gas-guzzling mower. I have, then, two options. Install blades on my gas-guzzling Jeep and ride that around on my lawn for an hour, or, buy goats, and hurl goat-crap at every person who comes by and thanks me for cutting my carbon footprint while they plug their electric mowers into and outlet which in turn gets it’s electricity from a pollution-spewing coal plant – or better – an evil nuclear power generator!
Climate vs. Weather, etc. etc.
April 28th, 2010
Yes, there’s a difference between climate and weather. In other words, weather patterns are far different in that they are larger trends than day-to-day climate. I get it.
However …
Global Warming Believers will use every slight fluctuation in day-to-day temperature in order to justify their belief that we’ll all melt and drown within 50 years.
I give you … my backyard this morning:
That’s about a foot of snow. It’s April 28th.
Two days ago I was out there in shorts mowing the lawn.
Two days ago I was driving around with my top off the Jeep, soaking up some sun as I was driving around.
Two days ago nearly every window in the house was open for fresh air.
We have a greater chance of being vaporized in 50 years by telekinetic alien cyborg octopi armed with particle-accelerating laser cannons than we do from driving SUVs and running air conditioners.
New Hampshire, Positively Ridiculous, ZOMG WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!11!one!
EXCLUSIVE: Climate Doc’s Smut Novel
February 23rd, 2010
ONLY here at Fighting For Liberty can you get a sneak peek at Dr. Rajendra Pachauri’s novel, “Return to AlGora“. The BBC calls it “frankly smutty”. Crank up those air conditioners, because the good climate Doc is going to get you hot …
After twelve brutal hours of shredding every last page of useless research data, Sanjay collapsed in his office chair. The weight of the world seemed momentarily lifted from his shoulders and he nearly slipped into unconsciousness when she appeared in the broad opening of the doorway.
And what a broad opening she was. Her statuesque silhouette darkened the doorway and Sanjay snapped to attention with a curious gaze. He first noticed her heaving breasts, smooth and pure as dual mounds of fresh, powdery snow – a sure sign they were fake, just the way he preferred. Her hips curved like charted temperature data and her eyes settled on him with an icy stare.
“Are you … Sanjay,” she asked, her sultry voice melting him like a polar ice cap. If this woman was global warming, Sanjay would gladly burn.
“I am,” he replied, “Miss?”
“Just call me Kyoto,” she replied as she moved toward him, sitting on his desk. The sun-kissed skin of her legs shimmering by the pale light of a CFL bulb.
Sanjay felt his temperature rising. He knew the mere presence of this woman in his office would set him on an unsustainable path.
She continued, “A little bird told me that if I needed to get my hands on some data that you’d be just the … ” she paused, looking down at his desk and stroking her finger along her knee, “Mann?”
Sanjay stood up and walked around his desk, his body mere inches from Kyoto, “That depends,” he said, “on whether you like it cold or … hot?”
Kyoto smiled, pressing her voluptuous bosom against his chest and replying with a sultry whisper, “Oh … I like it hot. Very hot.”
Sanjay could take the teasing no longer. Surely this woman was global warming incarnate. If he were a polar bear, he’d have vaporized by now. He was still willing to play the game, however, “You must know then that I have ways of making it as hot as you can stand it.”
Kyoto turned, pressing her hips against his and her lips to his ear as she whispered, “My, my Doctor. Is that a hockey stick in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”
Sanjay closed his eyes, “It would appear that the temperature isn’t the only thing rising,” he smiled, “I’d like to show you a … nature trick.”
Kyoto’s hand stroked the side of his face as she lay on his desk, pulling him with her, “Take me,” she told him breathlessly, “Take me and … hide your decline!”
Well, I don’t know about you folks but I’ll sure be rushing over to Amazon to pick up my copy!
Northeast Gunblogger Dinner
January 3rd, 2010
Why didn’t I go?
About 16″ of snow between yesterday afternoon and this morning. I wouldn’t have been able to make it home last night if I went South for a few hours.
Ahh well. Looks like I’ll be waiting for another Gunblogger Shoot to hang out with all the cool kids. :-(
And yeah, that’s the sticker you think it is – a Bruce special:
Frozenhagen …
December 18th, 2009
You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany.
Okay, I’ll say it …
Way to go, big O! An enthusiastic thumbs up for our Pres …
Responding to Obama’s speech, a British official said: “Gordon Brown is committed to doing all he can and will stay until the very last minute to secure a deal… but others also need to show the same level of commitment. The prospects of a deal are not great.”
Many reactions were strongly critical of Obama. Hugo Chávez, the president of Venezuela, described Obama’s speech as “ridiculous” and the US’s initial offer of a $10bn fund for poor countries in the draft text as “a joke”.
Tim Jones, a spokesman for the World Development Movement, said: “The president said he came to act, but showed little evidence of doing so. He showed no awareness of the inequality and injustice of climate change. If America has really made its choice, it is a choice that condemns hundreds of millions of people to climate change disaster.”
Friends of the Earth said in a statement, “Obama has deeply disappointed not only those listening to his speech at the UN talks, he has disappointed the whole world.”
The World Wildlife Fund said Obama had let down the international community by failing to commit to pushing for action in Congress …
I can think of no better collection of thugs, criminals, extortionists and scumbags I’d rather see pissed off by an American President. Sure, that wasn’t his intention, but I’ll take it!
Sweet Mother Octopi …
December 18th, 2009
Farking 20 below zero this morning.
And in other news, politicians and third-world shakedown artists are
FULL OF IT!
“Climatologists Baffled”
November 19th, 2009
Two words that go together as well as “No” and “Shit”.
Ironically, climate change appears to have stalled in the run-up to the upcoming world summit in the Danish capital, where thousands of politicians, bureaucrats, scientists, business leaders and environmental activists plan to negotiate a reduction in greenhouse gas emissions.
Politicians. Bureaucrats. Scientists. Business leaders. Environmental activists. All heroes, no doubt, ready to save the world from the ironic threat of being exceedingly average. Or just all ready to put their collective heads together to figure out a way to make America pay for their industrialization.