I love when this crap makes the rounds. Consider yourself tagged. To make it MUCH more difficult for you to copy and paste this, I’ve included comments inline!

1. Started your own blog.
Yer lookin’ at it, pal.

2. Slept under the stars.
Yeah. There are bugs. I really didn’t enjoy it.

3. Played in a band.
Dude, we were AWESOME! I played keyboard and bass, alternately. Also cello. Though that wasn’t a band, per se. But I could play Smoke on the Water and yes, it did sound as hideous as you’re currently picturing it.

4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland.
Come on. DisneyWORLD should count. I’m saying yes - they both take your money and the same costumed idiots are walking around.

8. Climbed a mountain.
Okay, it wasn’t Everest. It was St. Helens. Post-kaboom.

9. Held a praying mantis.
They’re freaky and awesome.

10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
I can juggle. Yes it’s an art, otherwise any dumbass could do it.

15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
Ruth’s Chris. Goodness gracious that was horrific.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
A pepper. Yeah, one pepper. It counts!

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
Again, something that’s not nearly as fun as it sounds.

21. Had a pillow fight.
I have kids. That’s how I legally beat them.

22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
Oh I was DAMN good at that.

24. Built a snow fort.
Watch out where the huskies go.

25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a Marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
I was very young and don’t remember too much other than the fact that it was FRICKING AWESOME.

29. Seen a total eclipse.
Ow, my eyes!

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
I’ve been fortunate enough in my life to have witnessed BOTH a sunrise on the East Coast and a sunset on the West Coast. Equally breathtaking.

31. Hit a home run.
Does a company softball game count?

32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
Again, a very fortunate field trip for yours truly.

35. Seen an Amish community.
Man those people are FREAKS! Oh come on, I’m just kidding. I actually wish I could drug them, drag them into my basement and keep them locked into forced shoo-fly pie making labor for the rest of my existence because the stuff is THAT good. What? I shouldn’t say something like that?

36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock (wall) climbing.
Nothing where I had to hammer hooks into the rocks or anything, but the fake plastic wall was pretty damn high.

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
By the liiiiiiiiiiight of the silvery mooooooooooooon …

46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
Snorkeling. A rare thing that is as fun as it sounds.

52. Kissed in the rain.
Spiderman was hanging upside-down. I just couldn’t help myself. Kind of got swept up in the moment.

53. Played in the mud.
I have kids. This happens often.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
Yes. I wasn’t a teenager yet. My Mom made my brother and his girlfriend take me because she couldn’t stand me in the house for another minute. I hid under a blanket in the back seat to get in because I wasn’t old enough to see the R-rated movie, “Police Academy”.

My brother stuck me on the hood of the car the entire time so he could make out with his girlfriend. I forced him to buy me concessions in exchange for his privacy. It was cold, but honestly I had a great time. So did my brother, I’m sure.

55. Been in a movie.
I was John Holmes’ stunt double. Okay, I was never really IN a movie. I just wanted an excuse to mention John Holmes on the blog. Yay, PR0N!

56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
Scary shit, right there.

58. Taken a martial arts class.
And now I know how to tear someone’s arm off and stuff it up their ass!

59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
I once ate two boxes of Do-Si-Dos within the span of 20 minutes. So while I never sold them, surely a consumption feat of that magnitude is worth an honorable mention?

62. Gone whale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma.
Needles. Ick.

65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check.
The bank called me to let me know my account was made out of rubber.

68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
Star Wars. ‘Nuf said.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten Caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
… and almost got run over by an NYC taxi. Apparently staring at big buildings makes you look like a tourist.

74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
See “Martial Arts Class” above. Nobody said it would be easy.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
And paid cash. And yes, that felt as good as it sounds.

83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
Many times. See “started your own business” above.

85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox.
Not. Fun.

89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
A few people. David Copperfield (very cool). Marina Sirtis. Yes, at a convention, now shut up before me and my broken toe tear your arm off and stuff it up your ass. Rudy Giuliani and his very lovely wife. I’ve met many professional athletes, most entertaining of which was Bobby Clarke, Hall of Fame NHL Star of the Philadelphia Flyers. I was three years old and in an NJ mall with my Mom. Okay, so it wasn’t really ME meeting him, but I was there, damnit. My Mom recognized him and flipped out, asking for his autograph. He was walking out of JC Penney with a bag containing a few pants he had just purchased.

He had my Mom hold the bag while he dug into his pocket for a pen. My Mom handed him a piece of paper. He signed it. She was really excited and probably terrified him enough that they said goodbye and a few minutes later my Mom realized that she was walking around the mall with Bobby Clarke’s pants. She went back and found him by JC Penney. He was looking for that crazy woman who stole his pants. I’m not certain if she pulled his shirt over his head and landed a few haymakers, but I like to think so.

92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
Not easy.

94. Had a baby.
Well … by had a baby I mean stood there while my wife went through hell and snorted, “Tough it out, princess, it doesn’t look that difficult!” Heh. Obviously I’m joking because I’m alive right now.

95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
Car accident. I was sued by a couple because they claimed they couldn’t have sex anymore after the accident. Yeah. Nice try pal.

98. Owned a cell phone.
Yeah. Itching to make it my only phone.

99. Been stung by a bee.
First time I ever cursed in front of my Mother. I came running in - I was maybe 6 years old. Of course, that means I had 6 years of hearing my father string together every iteration of curse words in the English language in unimaginable ways for reasons ranging from stubbing his toe, to forgetting to buy a jug of milk on his way home.

She slapped me.

100. Read an entire book in one day.
A few. Many by the late, great Robert Asprin - his Myth Adventures books were a riot and great quick reads when you took a day off from work for no reason.

Now you know a little bit more about yours truly, I’m quite eager to hear some of your stories … have at it!