Submission into The One’s “Civilian Defense Force” requires three months of service from our kids.

Requires.

I’m damn lucky that even with 8 years of a disastrous Obama Presidency, my oldest will still be under 15 by the time it’s over. Because if he *was* 18 … and somebody came knocking at our door in regards to recruiting him for a “Mandatory” Civilian Defense post under Barack Der Fuhrer Obama, they would surely find themselves gently swaying a few inches above the floor from one of these in my basement.

I’m no biology or physics expert, but I’m thinking gravity would make it real hard to pry that out of the back of your skull while you were hanging from it.

As a matter of fact, for under $3.00, I’m tempted to buy and hang it up now … just to freak out any liberal visitors to my home. I think the visual impact would be quite remarkable.

Either that, or a big white canvas with a shotgun resting on a table next to it. Fuck with me or my family, and I make abstract art from your brains, asshole.