See, we’re a bunch of religious, gun-toting nutjobs. Barack Truly, You Have A Dizzying Intellect Obama was right!

Look at this crap:

Among those applauding the Supreme Court’s recent 5-4 ruling seconding the Second Amendment are the good folks at Windsor Hills Baptist Church in Oklahoma City. You can find a link to the court’s ruling on the church’s web site. It follows a brief explanation of the church’s decision to give away a gun at its annual youth conference this month.

As Dave Barry often says, I wish I were making this up.

Well that certainly makes your stance clear from the get-go. Commence with the terrible jokes!

Praise the Lord and pass the automatic assault rifles. One nation, under God, locked and loaded. In Guns We Trust.

How goofy! Bring on the Brady Quote!

Rev. Rachel Smith, whose blog “God Not Guns” is a project of the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, calls it gundamentalism.

GUNDAMENTALISM! Love it. Boy that’s just … wow … clever as it gets right there, isn’t it? That makes me a congregate at Our Patron of the Ammunition Downrange Explusionist!

“America’s gun culture is marked by zeal closely akin to that of religious fundamentalism. The gun-rights movement is built upon a system of belief that is both absolutist and aggressive. It has its sacred text, its creed, its icon and its ideology.”

And its adherents.

On the Windsor Hills web site, you’ll find a 30-minute video of highlights from the church’s 2007 youth conference. The video includes gun-battle scenes from “The Patriot,” Mel Gibson’s movie about the American Revolution. It includes scenes of the conference gun-shooting competition (cancelled this year) — boys firing automatic and semi-automatic assault rifles at last year’s shooting competition.

It also includes scenes of pastors preaching and dancing, once again proving that white men have no rhythm, in the pulpit or on the stage.

All this means … what exactly? Religions whackjobs enjoy dancing poorly and watching a drunk antisemitic loon? Who the hell cares about any of this, anyway? Other than your average lefty collectivist? Is a shooting competition so bad? Were they shooting at people or at targets? Was it safe?

Again … who cares?

I watched the video, expecting to see some sort of wild-eyed cult of survivalist extremists. Instead I saw men and women, boys and girls eating and playing, singing and praying. I saw the good, God-fearing people who elect our presidents, fight our wars, patrol our streets and put food on our tables.

Here’s where the author just isn’t trying. Praise the Lord and pass the automatic assault rifle? Gun rights advocates are just like these religions freakazoids? Religious fundamentalists are “absolutist and aggressive” and now they’re “good, God-fearing people”? Maybe it’s just me, I think this is a most transparent compliment meant as a sort of apathetic cloak of someone who’s clearly anti-gun and anti-religion.

Nothing wrong with that. I’m not at all religious, I just like shooting crap. A lot. Religion has nothing do to with it. I don’t “cling to guns” because I see it somehow on par with my religious belief. I cling to them because I like the feeling of cold steel against my face as I caress them alone in my basement, whispering sweet nothings into their chambers and lubing them up with gun oil like some kind of perverted masseuse who can’t keep his hands off ‘em.

Or not.

I see people who are products of our gundamentalist culture, people who drape the cross with a flag, people who believe the Second Amendment should be one of the Ten Commandments, people who seem to have more trust in guns than in God.

I think that completely misses the mark of this article. Are anti-folk really this stupid? The people at that church strike me as people who worship God, and love their guns.

I, however, trust guns more than God because if some thug makes the most unfortunate decision to break into my house with the intent to murder or rape some member of my family, sitting there and praying isn’t going to do a damn thing. Shooting the bastard will, and it would be up to me to do it, not God.