I’m Going To #*@#%! Shoot Something!
Actually I’m going to shoot a few things. Let me explain …
Up here in Northern NH, it’s hard to get out to the range when it’s … you know … minus-ten degrees outside. That chill tends to put a damper on nearly any outdoor activity aside from skiing in many, many layers. And ice fishing.
Range time is something I’ve not had much of in the past few months. Check that … not had any of in the past few months. However, the thaw has begun, and my trigger finger is itching a great deal for a trip to the range surrounded by cool-but-not-cold temperatures and a mountainous backdrop that makes a lazy afternoon firing lead downrange just oh-so-enjoyable.
I’m so looking forward to a hot cup of coffee, a stack of ammo, the sounds of birds chirping, squirrels squirrelling, and the sweet music of steel soup-can death brought on by pure .22 plinking nirvana.
I’m determined to have some real fun my first few times out, getting re-acquainted with Mr. Mosin, and utilizing “alternative targets”. By that, I mean, “crap laying around the house I’ve managed to horde a pile of in the basement that I can’t wait to put dozens of holes in”. It is in this spirit of self-discovery and excitement at the outdoor firearm season which is rapidly approaching that I present to you …
Follow-up post with “after” pictures of these objects will make an appearance in a few weeks.
Target #1: Broken Ceramic Heater
I’ve never seen the inside of one of these things. It’s your typical ceramic oscillating heater and the damn thing broke on a night when it was 5-below outside. I’ve never forgiven it. Oh sure, I got about a year’s worth of heat out of it. It did an okay job (I MUCH prefer supplemental kerosene heat), but it’s busted now, so it doesn’t matter. It stands about three feet tall and will make a perfect 100-yard target. Or 10-yard target. I don’t care, I just want to shoot it and see what happens.
Target #2: Defunct Motherboard
Fark you and your bios update, beeeotch! Great SLI mobo a few years ago when I bought it, but unfortunately a bios update gone awry has rendered it useless and worthless. That’s okay! It will find a worthy home about 20 yards away with little .22 rounds puncturing all it’s parts. Just a note to you computer heads out there … yes, the processor has been removed. I have no qualms with AMD.
Target #3: Furby
Arguably THE most obnoxious child’s plaything ever created. They sing. They tell jokes. They disobey you. I will not submit to our robot masters! The last thing that’ll go through this hunk of fur and plastic’s “head” will be a 7.62×54R round. I am as of yet undecided on whether to put batteries in it and have it sing it’s ABCs while I’m chambering that first round. I wonder how far it can go before it ceases to artificially emote … looks nervous in that picture, doesn’t it? Maybe it knows …
That’s it for the gallery - so far. I can’t tell you how eager I am to get out there with this crap and have at it. I’m undecided on whether to bring a film camera and record Furby carnage. I can only imagine the YouTube comments now …
If you have range time and crap in your basement, by all means join the First Annual “Gallery of Inanimate Crap I’m Going To Shoot and Destroy.” Post the before pics on your blog and I’ll link you. You must promise to post the after pics within a few weeks time and by all means, describe the round, the range, and the good times shooting something other than a paper target or a steel cow!
Liberty on March 17th 2008 in Boomsticks!
Robb Allen responded on 17 Mar 2008 at 8:57 pm #
Kill the Furby. YouTube it. Don’t let it’s sickeningly cute gaze try to stop you either.
I *wish* I had a place that’d let me shoot crap.
Liberty responded on 17 Mar 2008 at 9:30 pm #
I’ll try to do the camera thing. See if it can stir up some PSH. Heh. I’ve been looking forward to taking Furby to the range for a few months now.
Just need to hope for some more thawing over the next couple of weeks. I’ve already bought up plenty of ammo. Mwahaha.
Robb Allen responded on 18 Mar 2008 at 12:53 pm #
I may see if I can sneak out my daughter’s Tickle Me Elmo Extreme.
Liberty responded on 18 Mar 2008 at 1:05 pm #
Oh, I wish my son had one of those, I’d love to see what a 2-stage snowblower would spit it out as.
angus lincoln responded on 18 Mar 2008 at 10:02 pm #
Can I watch? Perhaps I can come up with something equally satisfying to perforate. How about a #10 can of diced beets? It would be visually festive against a white background of snow. Especially with a 12 gauge Benelli loaded with “00″ buckshot!
The Patriot responded on 19 Mar 2008 at 10:22 am #
Hmmm…I missed deer season this year (actually, I didn’t want to bother, seeing that for the second year in a row the great state of Spitzer decided not to issue doe tags…) and I could use an hour of leisurely shooting with my lever-action 30-30 Marlin. But I don’t have an Elmo nor a Furby to shoot at.
I do have a few cases of Sterno, tho. I wonder what hot lead would do to legal napalm-in-a-can?
On an aside, speaking of our wonderfully disgraced former gov, did you hear why he wanted Ms. Dupree?
Because *she* isn’t a Spitzer… ;-)
Liberty responded on 19 Mar 2008 at 4:44 pm #
Angus - man I’d love to see what that AK of yours would do to the ceramic heater. Let’s wait for this crap to be over and plan a trip. I’ll have more crap to shoot. I’ve got a garage to clean out.
Patriot - You can get Furby’s online for three bucks. Small price to pay, I think. I’m debating buying 5 or 6 of them, having them start a conversation with each other about 50 yards downrange, and then seeing if I can pick ‘em off one by one. BLAMMO! Doing a service to annoyed parents everywhere - culling the Furby population one Chinese-manufactured piece of talking plastic fuzzy shit at a time. Heh.
Fighting For Liberty » Damn lucky … responded on 01 Apr 2008 at 10:23 am #
[…] My range costs $35 a year. It’s 10 minutes away, and I can bring anything from busted heaters to Furby if I want to. […]