Back here, Ahab released the secret of his Best Cup o’ Joe Evah, and being a freshly minted coffee snob with nowhere serious to go for a fix, I was at that exact time actively stalking a few different coffee makers.

Knowing for a fact that badly brewed coffee tastes about what I would expect a donkey’s ass to taste like, I give a great deal of importance to the invention that takes beans and turns them into yum-juice.

I decided to give that Toddy system a try. It arrived while I was walking around Jersey in a T-shirt in 46 degree weather (yeah, they look at you funny, but they’re from Jersey, what’s the difference). I arrived home from my mini-vacation last night and started the brew process. This morning, I removed enough snow off my driveway and walk to cover 10 football fields in inch-thick white stuff. So I came in exhausted and frozen, and commenced with the first cup.

Sweet Caffeinated Mother Of All That Is Holy And Good!

That was down-right farking delicious. Consider me a convert. Smoothest cup of coffee I have ever had and I can’t wait to screw with the recipe and have more. What surprised me the most is that it was not at all bitter - and if you’ve had burnt Starbucks anus-extract, you know what I mean. All I had as a sweetener was that “Sugar in the Raw” turbinado stuff. I’m eager to try a cup of this with some heavy cream and a better sweetener.

So thank you, Ahab! And … uhhhh … I was just kidding about the baby thing.