Layin’ it on thick.

ANOTHER attempt to hide important government records from West Virginians is proceeding through the Legislature - in this case, adding concealment to concealment. It would make secret the names of people who get permits to carry concealed weapons.

Ooooh, concealing concealment! I like that. I believe we should have a concealed effort to conceal concealment.

Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t the purpose of having a concealed weapon the fact that it should be kept private?

Delegate Bill Hamilton, R-Upshur, said some women victims of domestic violence asked him to introduce the bill, because they don’t want anyone to know they’re carrying hidden pistols. Maybe - but we suspect that this is another dubious scheme by the right-to-bear-arms lobby.

Yeah, this has absolutely nothing with the public actually wanting to keep these records secret and stopping panty-wetting journalists from publishing Google maps of stalker victims because of their precious “right-to-know”. This screed gets more and more ridiculous with every word.

“dubious scheme”?

Do antis believe that there’s some HQ deep in the mountains somewhere, where evil “gun lobby people” are rubbing their hands together and cackling, “MWAHAHAHAHA! AGAIN we thwart their legislation! Soon the world will be OURS! BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

The National Rifle Association is backing similar secrecy efforts in other states. Since guns are extremely popular in rural West Virginia, most Mountain State politicians timidly vote as the NRA requests.

Yeah, that’s it. The NRA says, “Get in line, BEOTCH!” and legislators cower in the corner and stutter, “Y-y-y-yes I’m s-s-s-sorry I ever considered voting no!!!”

Nonetheless, we’re amazed that the House Judiciary Committee headed by Delegate Carrie Webster, D-Kanawha, approved this concealment plan. The only opposition came from Delegate Bonnie Brown, also D-Kanawha, who said the public has a right to know which people have loaded guns hidden in their pockets.

“I don’t even like the idea of concealed weapons,” she said. “I read those lists so I know who to stay away from.”

Beyond laughable. West Virginians need to carry openly early and often. Everywhere. If she doesn’t like the idea of concealed weapons, maybe she’ll like the idea of seeing them. Be sure not to laugh if some lady wets herself and runs away from you screaming because you’re a law-abiding gun owner with a secured sidearm.

Sadly, few other legislators are speaking up as the bill sails through the House of Delegates.

Because the NRA has threatened to break their knees, no doubt!

Suppose you’re sitting in church, or a city council meeting, or a school basketball game, or a rock concert, or watching a street parade, and someone nearby has a loaded pistol hidden under his clothing. Don’t you think you’re entitled to know this ominous information?

Let’s change that, shall we? How do you like this re-write?

“Suppose you’re sitting in church, or a city council meeting, or a school basketball game, or a rock concert, or watching a street parade, and someone nearby is HIV positive. Don’t you think you’re entitled to know this ominous information?”

Well? Are you? Why is that ridiculous? HIV can kill, just as a criminal with a loaded weapon can kill. Call it a straw man if you want, I call it a simple comparison. Where does that line get drawn and why is one perceived danger more horrifying than another?

Okay, people with HIV have no choice. There’s a point to be made there. There are obviously so many more choices for a disarmed woman when a slobbering drunk knife-wielding stalker wants to tear her clothes off and rape her for a few hours.

Oh, oh I get it. You’re worried about someone being deranged with that gun, right? Well, what if someone with HIV had a syringe and was deranged enough to stick you with it while you weren’t looking? What then? And don’t tell me it can’t happen.

I think we should publish a list of everybody in West Virginia that has HIV so this unnecessary public menace can be dragged into the light. Do you really want someone with HIV being near your children? What if they’re angry, or have had a bad day? Perhaps we should refrain from serving alcohol to HIV positive individuals because of the public health danger? Just one HIV-whacko with a syringe is all it takes!

It’s a monstrous argument. It’s monstrous when related to law-abiding HIV positive individuals, and it’s just as monstrous when we’re talking about law-abiding gun owners.

One Statehouse observer said the new concealment bill would be “a terrible blow to an open society,” in which government records are available to citizens. He called it “a serious intrusion into the public’s right to know.”

Betcha they were a journalist. It’s opposite day! Intrusions into your right to know is replacing intrusion of privacy! Or did that journalist mean intrusion into their ability to print the whole list in a paper?

Hiding the identity of pistol-packers would compound the problem caused by hiding secret guns.

What problem does the protected identity of someone who purchased a weapon legally and legally applied for a conceal permit cause … other than you soiling your own shorts and them keeping a stalker at bay or their family safe?