ABC News wants to eliminate the scourge of Muzzle Loading Rifles!

Wait … Muzzle Loading Rifles? Since when were those a weapon of choice? Here’s some panty-wetting quotes from the ABC article:

In the time that it takes to purchase a pair of socks, one can buy a deadly rifle.

Ooooh, spooky! In less time than it takes me to put those socks, I can see the pee stain on the floor beneath ABC’s reporters who were forced to come face-to-face with this weapon of utter destruction the sole existence of which is to snuff out the life of cuddly fuzzy bears and innocent civilians. And please pay no attention to the psychopath behind the barrel.

Eyewitness News went undercover at Dicks Sporting Goods store in Upstate New York and with less information than is needed to borrow a library book, we bought a 50-caliber black powder hunting rifle. We just counted out the cash, about $200 and walked away with a brand new, highly powerful weapon.

Big deal. For less than $200 bucks I can go to Home Depot, buy a bunch of parts from plans on the internet, and build something that can create a neat-and-tidy potato-sized cavity clear through that condescending, self-righteous, snarky face of yours from 50 yards out. And the idiot that helps me at the store will think I’m just putting in a new toilet. That doesn’t mean it’s a practical weapon of choice, or that it’s responsible for murderous rampages.

And … you could probably re-load the potato gun faster.

Could you imagine four thugs in an open-top 1983 Buick with spinning rims and neon underlights stopping in front of a rival gang-members house, and breaking out their muzzle-loaders to try and take him out? Are they going to walk around with these things stuffed into the front of their baggy pants?

Don’t tell me ABC is just concerned about terrorism, either, that doesn’t fly. If that were the case they’d be calling for enforcement of immigration laws, a reduction in exploited student visas, or keeping tabs on Mosques breeding a jihad mentality in our own backyard. No, their aim is to disarm you for the greater good, even if the reality of what they’re championing makes them look like a bunch of collectivist clowns.